Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
AT THE PLATE"
SitiSNM W(LD HEAVE ," '
A FAITHFUL SERVITOR
The teacher wanted some plums in
order to give an object lesson during
school hours, and, calling one xf the
small boys, she gave him ten cents
and dispatched him to the fruit stand
down on the corner.
"Before you buy the plums,, Wil
lie,"" she cautioned, "you had better
pinch one or two to make sure they
Little Willie flitted away. Soon he
came back and smilingly put the bag
on the teacher's desk.
- "Oh, thank you, Willie," said pie
teacher, taking up the bag. "Did you
pinch one or two as I told you to do?"
"Did I?" was the gleeful response.
"I pinched the whole bagful and
here's your ten cents." Ladies
A certain workman seems to be
constitutionally opposed to the in
stitution commonly known as a bath.
It is this man's custom to appear each
morning wearing the grime he car
ried as he left the shop the previous
night. He appeared one day last
week with a touch of the yolk of att
egg upon his lip.
Seeking to have a little fun, a fel
low employe observed:
"Hello, Jake, bet I can tell what
you had for breakfast this morning."
Words were bandied back and
forth, and finally a wager was made.
Then came the climax :.
"Yotfre wrong," said Jake. "We
had eggs yesterday morning."
DUTY HAS LIMITS
Officer What's the matter with
that soup you're turning up your nose
Private It's full of sand and grit,
Officer Now look here, my man,
did you come to camp to grumble or
to serve your country?
Private Well, IMid some to serfs
my country, sir; but not'to eatitj