Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
. ,. A VAs NtoO SKKr
! -( Afccmtf'ltoUBrrN'T)
6y VEAT MUCH, y
His face was decorated with
II patches of court plaster until it re
sembled a masterpiece of cubist art.
"What in the world happened to
you?" asked his wife.
"You know how a talkative barber
lalways bores me "
i nave otten neara you speak of
"Well, this afternoon I heard of a
rshop with a deaf and dumb hair
."Did you go there?"
vYes, and this what I got while he
was shaving me and trying to talk
with his fingers at the same time."
IN NO HURkY
TXThot -Mtvio Trrlll Tie ffr nn rtYt
APerkins Junction?" asked a traveler
MUU a. D11U1 L HUG IttlUUttU HI iUlSbUlUl.
i i licit) tun l uu Lnuing, sa.ui uie
conductor auaoiy. "jne ana tne en
gineer are goin!.ter get off down the
Njpad a piece an' hunt rabbits for a
A lady came down from upstairs
and asked the manager of the hotel
if she could get a glass of water.
"Why, certainly, madame," said the
manager, filling up a glass.
Two minutes later she was back
in the office again.
"I don'tvlike to trouble you," she
said, "but could I get another glass of
"No trouble at all, madame," said
the affable manager, handing her an
Two minutes later she appeared
"Certainly, madame," said the af
fable manager, "but could I inquire
what you are doing with so ..much
"I know you'll just scream when I
tell you," said the lady. "I am try
ing to put out a fire in my room."
Two Scotchmen had been having a
good time on the heather downs of a
little island and were rowing back
home across the firth.
Angus had clung to the boat and
Jock, who had clung to the bottle,
was floundering bravely in the deep.
Although a poor swimmer, he struck
out for the skiff, holding the bottle
in one hand. After a few strokes he
began to falter.
"Angus," he cried, "I dinna thenk I
can mak' it,"
"Well, if ye canna mak' it, Jock,
throw it," called back Angus.
ONE THING LACKING
Little Bob Aw, I could walk the
rope just as well as the man in the
circus if it wasn't for one thing.
Little Willie What is that?
little Bob I'd fall off. Harper's
The Governor (sternly) When I
was your age, my boy, I was making
an "honest living."
.The Boyi And now look at yoqj
snelL" Baltimore Spa b iax