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Newspaper Page Text
1 . . 3
Z ' VWSS tou StOr
cfcA eat Much. y
s i7 .)
His face was decorated "with
I patches of court plaster until it re-
semDiea a masterpiece or cubist art.
""What in the world happened to
you?" asked his wife.
"You know how a talkative barber
HLfllways bores me '
TT "I hi
have often heard you speak of
"Well, this afternoon I heard of a
shop with a deaf and -dumb hair
dresser." "Did you go there? "
"Yes, and this what I-got while he
was shaving me and trying to talk
th his fingers at the same time."
IN NO HlfcRY
"What 'time will this train reach
Perkins Junction?" asked a traveler
n a short line railroad in Missouri.
There ain't no telline." said the
"conductor affably. "Me and the en
gineer are goin ter get off down the
joad a piece an' hunt rabbits for a
1 " LADY-LIKE EFFORTS
A" lady came down from upstairs
and asked the manager of the hotel
if she could get a'glass of water.
"Why, certainly, madame," said the
manager, filling up a glass.
Two- minutes latep she was back
in the office again.
"I don't like to trouble you," she
said, "but could I get another glass of
"No trouble, at all, madame," said
the affable manager, banding her an
Two minutes later she appeared
"Certainly, madame," said the af
fable manager, "but could I inquire
what you are doing with so much
"I know you'll just, scream when I
tell you," said the lady. "I am try
ing ,to put out a fire in my room."
Two Scotchmen had been having a
good time on the heather downs of a
little island and were rowing back
home across the firth.
Angus had clung to the boat and ,
Jock, who had clung to the bottle,
was floundering bravely in the deep.
Although a poor swimmer, he struck
out for the' skiff, holding the bottle
in one hand. After a few strokes he
began to falter.
"Angus," he cried, "I dinna thenk I
can mak' it"
"Welf, if ye canna mak' it Jock,
throw it," called back Angus.
ONE THING LACKING
Little Bob Aw, I could walk the
rope just as well as the man in the
circus if it wasn't for one thing.
Little Willie What is that?
Little Bob I'd fall off. Harper's
The Governor (sternly) When I
was your age, my boy, I was making
"an honest living."
The Boy And now look at you,
spelL" Baltimore Sun.
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