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Newspaper Page Text
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THE BACHELOR'S REASON
A lady was asking a well-known
novelist, who is a bachelor, as to the
reason for his state of celibacy. "Are
you a Dacneior irom cnoice.' sne
'Tees, came the answer with dis
concerting promptness from the fa
"But isn't that er rather un
gracious and ungallant?" protested
the fair inquisitor. The novelist
"You must ask the ladies," he sug
gested gently; "it was their choice,
COULDN'T DO IT
A traveler in the dining car of a
Georgia railroad had ordered fried
eggs for breakfast. "Can't give you
Jried aigs, boss," the waiter informed
Tiim, "lessen you wait till we stop."
I'Why, how is that?" "Well, de cook
he says de road's so rough dat ev'ry
time he tries to fry aigs dey scram-
A TOOTH-PULLING SCHEME
"When I build a house again," said
the fat plumber, "I am going to have
all of the downstairs doors open out
ward." "That's no good way," the thin
carpenter remarked. "What's the
"I'm bothered a good deal with my
"What's that got tn do with it?"
"I seldom patronize the dentist."
"Oh, no! I always do my own
"Oh, yes! I just fasten one end of
a string to the tooth and the other
end to the doorknob and wait until
somebody opens the door."
"You see, I want the doors to open
outward, so I can sit inside the house
and wait. I'd hate to sit out in the
cold and wait until some one inside
had to come out, and, besides, some
of the neighbors might think I was
"Huh!" ejaculated the thin carpen
ter. "If you can think of any of the
neighbors that don't kno wit already,
just let me know who they are, and
I'll tell them."
WONDERS OF NATURE
"Nature's works are marvelous."
"Yes. Isn't it fortunate that she
provided every woman with some real
hair to pin braids and switches to?"
"I wonder why the waves sob and
moan so when they break upon the
"For the simple reason that they're
broke, I suppose." N. Y. World.
HER YOUNG MAN
Her Dad Mary, what time did that
young man leave last night? I didn't
hear him say good night.'
His Daughter No, father. Qq
doesn't sayit. Judge. ...