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- THE CONFESSIONS OF A WIFE .
LONELINESS BRINGS DOUBT. CONFESSION 179
Dick has gone on his trip and I am
here all alone.
It is queer how soon you get used
to being married to feeling that you
could not live without your husband;
that the world is a howling wilderness
of loneliness when he is gone!
I sometimes wonder if a man has
this sense of loss- of companionship;
is his need of your presence after he
has once had you as great as your
need of his?
Which means when you bring the
abstract down to the purely concrete
I wonder if Dick is missing me as
much as I miss him? Of course, I
know that he will be "busy all through
the day, but oh! iVant him to want
me at evening to wish he was going
to see me when he comes back to the
hotel at night.
I wish he had not said that to me
about being a better man when he
knew I was, at least, in the same city.
His disbelief in "absence makes the
heart grow fonder" savors of that
traitorous lilting heresy of Tom
"Whe'n far away from the lips that
You've but to make love to the lips
that are near." N
I suppose I must hope there'll be no
lips near at least very near, while
mine are far away.
I am sending Dick tonight that lit
tle verse I wrote about "all-in-all to
you" as my first letter. Dick has never
written me a letter in his whole life.
When he is away he sends me tele
grams, and if he is near enough he
calls me up on the long-distance wire,
but ho. never writes me. I wonder if
he has ever written to Eleanor Fair
low or any other girl?
He will probably think, my little
poem just "a bit of fantasy from out
that very clever brain of yours," as he
sometimes says to me when I am es
pecially sentimental; but, Dick, dear,
it's just a cry from my heart "I
would be all in all to you," just as ev
ery woman would be all-in-ail to the
man she loves. Don't throw away
the joy of having me "all-in-all" to
you for the sake of some fancied form
or the sudden curiosity to, see and
know what is behind the smile of the
other woman, or a particular rever
ence that holds your wife as high as.
the angels. -
If yotf would only be the one man
who would come to understand that
in conserving love, not in dissipating
it, is only found real bliss.
Don't giveyour wife the dregs of
promiscuous lovemaking I wonder
why I have written that. I am not
jealous of any other woman not
even Eleanor Fairlow but some
times I can't help thinking that each
one of the little things that I do to
charm Dick are only the "same little
flatteries that he has known before.
Nothing that I can do can have the
charm of surprise.
A man always pays for what he
knows a woman for what she dpes.
I believe that every wife revolts
against the double standard of mor
als Her husband may be faithful to
her after marriage that is all so
ciety asks but she can never forget
the taste of those forgotten kisses
that other women have placed upon
his lips. ' r
Gracious ! What is the matterjwitl
me? I must be getting morbid. No5
that is not the matter. It is because,;
I have been idle almost all day. To
morrow I am going down to buy a
gown for Kitty Malram's wedding.
I wonder if she is feeling as ecstatic?
as I did in the days before my wed
ding? I believe it is really the hap-t
piest time of a woman's life for af tj
erward we find out that life is only aj
jumble after all and mortals caif
only imagine what heaven is -like
they can never realize it on earth. z
(To Be Continued Tomorrow.)