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Newspaper Page Text
SUFFERED FROM STRAINS
Tapa, you remember the pretty
Jjittle plant I bad in. my window?"
Yes, dear," repliea tne parent.
VYou know I used to sing to it
''Well, it's dead."
"Then I don't wonder."
AS AN ANTIDOTE
Ragged Rogers De lady in de next
bouse give me a piece of home-made
cake.' Won't you give me something,
Mrs. Spiteful Certainly, I'll give
you a pepsin tablet. Boston Trans
cript. o o
CLAD HE'S LIVING
"And how's your master, Patsy?"
"Bedad, sorr, he's -enjoyin' very
"Are they wealthy? "
"They gave their baby an auto tire
to cut his teeth on." Judge.
'' ( ON MV VAVTo )
N.-&EE BANK ! ! J
j -"sSSCT &cdnalf(ft
PEACE WITHOUT HONOR "
Merit O'Neal says that while diplo
mats are exercising their "good of
fices" in the Mexican imbrqglio, Uncle
'Eph, lor many years doorkeeper at
the Louisville Hotel, comes forward
with a suggestion of a way out with
honor and without war.
"Kunnel," he began, "what's all dis
talk 'bout "wah? Is we gwine to hab
a wah? Some of dese heah bellboys
been guyin' me about de wah, but I
don't beliebe dem."
The Colonel replied: "Yes, Uncle
Eph, it looks like we are going to
have war with Mexico."
"What fer, Kunnel?"
"Well, Uncle Eph, they have in- -suited
"Is dat all?" '
"Yes", that's aH, but"
"Well, Kunnel, why donlt-we git
anudder flag?" Louisville Times.
Recently a lady amateur song
writer sent to a popular actress-vocalist
the words of a new song -which
she had written. The actress could
see nothing attractive in the song,
and read the verses to her husband.
"Good heavens!" he exclaimed,
when she had finished. "What's she
talking about? What-does she call
"She calls it 1 Wonder if Hell Miss
Me?' " was the' reply.
"Well," said the husband, "if he
does he ought never to be trusted
with a gun.again!"
He found his own front porch with
wonderful accuracy, navigated the
steps with precision, and discovered
the keyhole by instinct. Once in the
dimly lighted hall, there was an omin
ous silence, followed by-a tremen
"Why, what has happened, Hen-
ry?" came a voice from above.
"It's all right, Mary, but I'll 111
learn those goldfish to snap at m"