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Newspaper Page Text
4c- vl o rTF
AT A SCOTCH FUNERAL
" Teter,' said one mourner to his
neighbor at the tail of a walking
funeral, 'div ye' Jamie Thompsqn
walking in the front, side by side wi'
the chief mourner, and Mm no a
drop o blood to the corpse?'
"Fine I see him, a forward, up
settin', ambeetious body; he would be
inside the hearse if he could."
Books and Bookmen, by Ivan Mac-laren.
OUGHT TO TRY IT
Little Rollo had been reproved for
his table manners by papa and mam
ma. He trained his baby stare on
mamma to ask: "When you was a
little girl didn't y ever dip your jelly
roll in coffee?"
"No, my dear," with a tinge of
"Tot to try it Gee, it's great!"
NOTHING TO FORGIVE
"I may seem a brute, Mabel," said
the innocent young man, "but I ought
to tell you that last night, at your
party, your sister promised to marry
me. Will you forgive me for taking
"Forgive you!" replied she. "Why,
that's what the party was for!"
New York World.
o o J
OUf OF PLACE
"Oh, my!" exclaimed the excited
woman, who had mislaid her hus
band, "I'm looking for a small man,
with one eye."
"Well, ma'am," replied the polite
floorwalker, "if he's a very small
man, maybe you'd better use both
eyes." Top-Notch. '
"General," gasped the colonel of
the Mexican federals during the' heat
of the, battle, "we are entirely out of
, "What! Entirely out ot ammuni
tion?" "Yes, entirely out."
"Then, cease firing." .
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