Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
A teacher in a Liverpool school
-J-.jwaS trying to 'find from a tiny child
the name or his fatner. He seemed
(quite , unable to think of it, so to
nelp him she asked:
"What do you call him?"
"I call him 'father," was the reply.
"Well, what does your mother call
The response was eloquent of the
manners of the neighborhood.
"She doesn't call him anything
she likes him."
'Tm not eating very much of late."
What'8L the matter, old man? Lost
"No: my credit" Boston Tran-
HE WONT DO
'Is Smithson an intelligent, well
"Unusually so. As a juror he is
ways rejected by the attorneys on
(SO I VIU- NOT)
V' TOUCH BNV
TOUGH ON JIMMY
Some time ago a wild young animal
named Jimmy was promoted from
the third grade in a public school to
the fourth. The teacher in the fourth
grade was young and timid, and,
knowing Jimmy's reputation, there
came a great fear in her gentle little
heart. With Jimmy's old teacher,
however, it was different
"If you have any trouble with him,"
said the third-grade teacher to the
fourth, "just send him downstairs to
me. rn fix his feet for him."
A week went by and one day Jimmy
appeared at the third-grade teacher's
door. Little schoolmarm.got right on
the job. Without any preliminaries
Jimmy was yanked into the room,
laid across her knee and beautifully
"Now, then, Master Jimmy," said
the teacher, releasing the youngBter,
"what have you to Bay for yourself?"
"Please, Miss Mary," was the start
ling rejoinder of Jimmy, "Miss Mag
gie wants to know if you won't please
lend her your penknife."
A POOR JOB
"I am inclined to think," said a
man, "that our friend, Mr. Grafton
Grabb, was created on the Sabbath."
"For what reason?"
"We are told that an honest man
is the noblest work of the Creator,
and also that on the seventh day the
Creator rested." N. Y. World.
TIPPING HIM OFF
The ferret-eyed little man stepped
across the street car aisle and whis
pered into the ear of the tall chap in
a gray suit:
"You'd better wipe that bit of egg
off your chin. The income tax man
is just two seats in front of you."
. o o
"They say, dear, that people who
live together get in time to look ex
"Then you may consider my re
fusal final." - . &
4 jL M iiffc ,- ?!- i tSif-n ! rtJTiil'ti itli bL