OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, June 29, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-06-29/ed-1/seq-17/

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IN A FRATERNAL SPIRIT
A certain curate was of a painfully nervous
temperament, and in consequence was constantly
making awkward remarks intended as compli
ments to the bishop and others.
Having distinguished Wmself in an unusual
degree during a gathering of clergy at an after
noon tea, he was taken to task for his failings by
a senior curate, who was one of his companions
on the way home.
"Look here," said Simms, the senior, decided
ly, "you are a donkey. Why can't you keep quiet
instead of speaking your asinine remarks? I am
speaking to you now as a brother."
o o
NOT LEFT OUT
Mrs. Benton tasted the savory morsel she had
carefully compounded in the chafing-dish, and
looked at her husband somewhat apprehensively.
Then she said:
"Some'how, it don't taste just as Mrs. Mink's
did the ether night. I suppose I must have left
something out."
Mr. Benton tasted reflectively.
"I don't think so," he remarked.
Mrs. Benton's fact brightened visibly. Then
her husband continued:
"There's nothing you could leave out," he
said, "that could make it taste like this. It's
something you've put in!" "
o o
FULLY TRAINED
"Are there any drillers here?" shouted the
foreman, coming out of the great gateway of a
ship-building yard.
"Here's one, sir!" sang out Pat, with a ring
of truth in his voice.
He had not been at work long before he was
surrounded by quite a lot of broken bits, which
were eventually "spotted" by the foreman.
VAnd where, may I ask," inquired that
worthy with great scorn, "did you learn to drill?"
"Where I" repeated Pat. "Where would I be
after learnin to drill but in Ballyboggin Militia?"
BEGGING THE QUESTION
"I have come to consult you," she said to the
prominent lawyer.
"What is the trouble?"
"I have received three proposals of marriage,
and I do not know which to accept."
"Which man has the most money?"
""Do you imagine," she asked, "that if I knew
I would consult you or any other lawyer?."
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