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Newspaper Page Text
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A TRIBUTE OF PRAISE
"They're six fine sons ye have,
Casey," said Denis.
"They are," replied Casey.
"Do you have any trouble with
them?" inquired Denis.
"Trouble?" repeated Casey. "I've
never had to raise my hand to one
of them, except in elf-defense."
A young lady entered the fur shop
and the polite salesman came for
ward. "I wish to get a muff," she said.
"Yes'm," said the salesman, "what
The young lady looked surprised.
"Why," she said, "to keep my hands
.warm, of course."
PAY AS YOU GO
Customer I want this suit by the
30th. Can I have it on time?
Tailor No, sir we do a strictly
pash business. Baltimore News, .
new york a feller by the name of
briggs living over in brooklin went
over to see a frend of his named jones
a cuppel of nites ago and maby play
a few games of penuckle
no sooner had he got onto mr.
Joneses front poarch than he begun
sniffin and snortin and gaspin
he dident wait to nock on the dore,
but busted rite into the house and
begun hollering fire, fire, fire, as loud
as he could yell
mr. jones was in the setting room,
and he got up and he looked
around and he says, what in the sam
hill is the matter with you anyway
gee whiz, hollers mr. briggs, can't
you smell it, there must be a fire ia
a closet full of old rubber boots, or
fethers, or sumthing
oh shucks, says mr. jones, fire
nuthing, i am just smoking one of
them segars my wife gave me last
what! yells mr. briggs, have you
gone nutty, or are you trying to com
nuthing of the sort, ansers mr.
jones, these segars is just what i need
right now, i am trying to leave off
smoking, and if they don't make me,
"Here," said the proprietor of the
place, "is a little gift for you and Jim.
Each bottle is finest old Scotch whis
ky. You drop in at Jim's on your way
and give him this, will you?"
"Certainly," replied the grateful
one. On his way he fell and broke
"Poor Jim!" he murmured, picking
himself up. N. Y. World,