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Little Bobby wanted a birthday
party, to which his mother consented,
provided he asked his little friend
"Peter. The hovs had had trniihlp hut
frrather than not have a party, Bobbv
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On the evening of the party, when
all the small guests had arrived ex
cept Peter, the mother became sus
picious and sought her son.
"Bobby." she said, "did vou invite
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jsB "Of course I did, mother."
W "And did he say he would come?
I! "No," explained Bobby. "I invited
lli him to come all right, but I dared him
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i EXCUSE SUFFICIENT
She Lizzie's bloke calls
" ieacli and the happle of 's hye. Why
; n't you call me things like that?
-tie xub, tnars very weu; out e s
..the vegetable busmess. Hi'm in
the fish trade, remember,
Some years ago there were in Paris
two papers, the "Razor" and "Scor
pion," which were always attacking
Every week people bought the
"Razor" to read how it cut at the
"Scorpion" and then purchased the
"Scorpion" to learn how it stung the
A certain philanthropist, feeling
pained to see such animosity display
ed, invited the two editors to dine, in
the hope that over good fare he could
make peace between them. At the
appointed time one lean, melancholy
man presented himself and was ush
ered in. After an interval, as no other
guest appeared, the host demanded:
"May I ask, are you the editor of
the 'Razor' or the 'Scorpion'?"
"Both!" said the sad-eyed man.
ONE ON FATHER
Once upon a time daughter found
an old love letter that father had
written to mother when they were
courting. Daughter copied the letter,
signed a man's name to it and mailed
it to herself. Then she showed it to
father and he nearly busted a lung
denouncing the dog-wazzled, ding
busted, fat-headed idiot who would
dare write such a mess of silly, sick
ening hog wash to any girl. Cincin
COULDN'T USE IT
Furniture Dealer Here's a folding
article you might like, sir a com
fortable settee in the daytime and a
bed at night
Customer No use to me; I do
night work. Show me something that
I can use as a settee at night and
a bed in the daytime. Boston Tran
script ,, '
"I wonder if my husband will love
me when my hair is gray?"
"Of cohrse he will. He has loved
I you throngh three shades of 'hair al
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