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A PETTY ANNOYANCE
Mrs. Hawti had recently moved in
to the neighborhood.
"I thought I would come and tell
you that your James has been fight
ing with my Edward," said one of
teh neighbors, calling at the door.
"V'Well, for my part," responded
Mrs. Hawti, "I have no time to enter
into any discussion about the chil-
oren's quarrels. I consider myself
ab6ve such trifling things."
"Very well," was the reply. "I'll
send James over on a stretcher in
Htn'hour or two."
PjgOMlNO TO AN UNDERSTANDING
L SJHerself (looking up at him) Oh,
I- mr. winkle, do you "hesitate"?
I. Himself Never! (Kisses-her.)
J Herself (in . confusion) Oh, I
Sdn't mean that!
"iHimself Well, what did you mean,
Herself Er why I mean do
LLyou "bunny hug" 7 Williams Pur
AS A LADY WOULD
Gladys mother was entertaining
visitors when suddenly the door was
flung open and in burst Gladys like
the proverbial whirlwind.
"My dear child," said the mother
rebukingly, "I never heard such a
noise as you made coming down
stairs. Now go right back and come
Gladys retired and a few moments
later re-entered the room.
"Did you hear me come down that
time, mamma?" she asked.
"No," replied the mother. "Now
why can't you always behave like
that? You came downstairs like a
"Yes, mamma," said Gladys, duti
fully. "I slid down the banisters."
Ladies' Home Journal.
WOULD HAVE PLEADED WITH IT
A distinguished member of the bar
was once sojourning at a farm in the
west of Scotland. One morning the
farmer asked him to go ojut and have
a shot or two at the rabbits, which
were very plentiful. The learned law
yer went, and he blazed away for a
whole afternoon,, but without singe- '
ingvthe hair of a rabbit. The farmer
and the would-be sportsman returned
home, the former silent and disap
pointed. At last an idea struck him.
"Mr. S ," he exclaimed, clap
ping his companion on the back,
"suppOBin' ane o' thae rabbits had
turned on ye, what wud ye hae dune!"
"Beg pardon, sir," said the steward,
"but may I bring you some dinner,
"Oh, I guess so," replied the pas
senger wanly, as he gazed out across
the bounding deep. "I guess you can
bring me one on approval."
"Beg pardon, sir," repeated the
stewafd, "did you say 'on approval,'
"Yes," groaned the passenger
weakly. "You see, I may not want
to keep It" Lippincott's.