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Newspaper Page Text
!pSBjRBBi fJiO, 8UT VOKCE HE SAT (N APASSEMSER'S LAP. P SUPPEP OM A BAHAMA PfegUMS-. USUALLY A" f&XV J VJVidONrrAlN CANARY" IS"b VERY J AiSOKE-FOOTET. LPs. festgj. JL .HE TwrrrEfes ! ! 1 j WHAT'S IN A NAME? "What's the child's name?" asked the priest of the grandfather at the christening. "I dunno," the grandfather replied. And he turned to the father and whis pered hoarsely: "What's the name?" "Hazel," replied the father. "What?" asked the grandfather. "Hazel," repeated the father. The grandfather threw up his hands in disgust. "What d'ye think uv that?" he asked the priest. "With the calendar av the saints full av gur-rl names an' him namin' his aft er a nut!" Ladies' Home Journal. POLITE, BUT POINTED A stern parish priest had issued to his people a command against danc ing, believing it to be a device of the devil. A few of the young people disobey ed and attended a dance given at a neighboring town. Finally it reached the ears of the cleric, who, meeting one of the culprits in the street one morning, said in a stern voice: "Good morning, child of the devil!" "Good morning, father!" smiling answered the pretty miss. 0 0 OF COURSE NOT "Chicken pie!" the customer ex claimed. "Chicken pie! Why, there's not a piece of chicken in it and never was." "That's right, sir. There's no chicken' in it." "Then why do you call it chicken pie?" "That's all right. There don't have to be chicken in a chicken pie. There's no dog in a dog biscuit, is there? And there ain't no geese in gooseberry pie." CLOSE CALCULATION "I can tell you," said the accurate man, "how much water flows under London bridge very day to a quart" "How much?" asked his skeptical friend. "Two pints." - j u jtfiWtott jih Win i r'NPWffgpiVyiivH 4S2!lJi2sR HHaMHMHHMaBBBaai