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Newspaper Page Text
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WHAT'S IN A NAME?
"What's the child's name?" asked
the priest of the grandfather at the
"I dunno," the grandfather replied.
And he turned to the father and whis
pered hoarsely: "What's the name?"
"Hazel," replied the father.
"What?" asked the grandfather.
"Hazel," repeated the father.
The grandfather threw up his
hands in disgust. "What d'ye think
uv that?" he asked the priest. "With
the calendar av the saints full av
gur-rl names an' him namin' his aft
er a nut!" Ladies' Home Journal.
POLITE, BUT POINTED
A stern parish priest had issued to
his people a command against danc
ing, believing it to be a device of the
A few of the young people disobey
ed and attended a dance given at a
neighboring town. Finally it reached
the ears of the cleric, who, meeting
one of the culprits in the street one
morning, said in a stern voice:
"Good morning, child of the devil!"
"Good morning, father!" smiling
answered the pretty miss.
OF COURSE NOT
"Chicken pie!" the customer ex
claimed. "Chicken pie! Why, there's
not a piece of chicken in it and never
"That's right, sir. There's no
chicken' in it."
"Then why do you call it chicken
"That's all right. There don't have
to be chicken in a chicken pie. There's
no dog in a dog biscuit, is there? And
there ain't no geese in gooseberry
"I can tell you," said the accurate
man, "how much water flows under
London bridge very day to a quart"
"How much?" asked his skeptical
"Two pints." - j u
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