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Newspaper Page Text
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DAILY COMMENTS ON PEOPLE AND THINGS
Huerta is at present cutting into
the deep blue sea on the Kaiser's
yacht, bound for Jamaica.
Maybe he has gone over thdre to
get some of that Jamaica ginger.
Yet you'd think there Was enough
"hot stuff" right here at home for
With Capt. Ryan gone it leads one
to wonder, will Capt. Nootbaar crime
on the South Side?
It looks as if every player in the
majors might have one strike called
on him my "Umpire" Fultz.
And Ban Johnson indicates that
that one strike will be just enough to
call the player "out" on.
In shorter words, it appears that
a baseball war is very liable to hit
town, and put hesitancy in the na
And considering that Sherman said
"war is hell," in this case it may be
"hell" on the fans.
A fair lady was near mobbed at
Chicago Beach for wearing a
diaphonous bathing suit.
Evidently she was trying to get
away with something, but everybody
could see through it.
"Thomas you come along and quit
staring at that lady."
A Chicago restaurant keeper was
fined for biffing a customer on the
head with a bun.
Wow! Which is more difficult,
"How old is Ann," or how old was
New York business men called on
Wilson and agreed that business con
ditions were improving.
All right, let 'em improve. The
more improvement the merrier.
Jack Johnson, in the fighting game,
is about as popular as a thunder
storm on the day of a double-header.
Mexico is one country that doesn't
have to worry over "What shall we
have to do with our ex-presidents?"
The majority of them are done for
before they ever leave Mexico.
New York state is going to blow in
$50,000 in a war on grasshoppers.
If she takes 'em alive she might
sell 'em to Illinois for fish-bait.
Gosh! Speaking of municipal own
ership! Vienna owns all her public
utilities and her breweries, pawn
shops and undertaking establish
ments. We folks have got no kick coming
on heat. 104 in the shade hit Phoe
nix. And then there wasn't any shade.
HARD TO IMITATE
The Professor My dear yonge
ladee, ven you zing Eetalian you
should zing eet lak me, wiz de pro
The Pupil (innocently) Oh, was
that accent? I thought it was garlic!
Men are rapidly joining the equal
suffrage ranks. The president of the
National Men's League for Woman
Suffrage announces the organization
of ten new leagues.