Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
-511 .!! ii. ui -'-vw" ,r'.jA"!dw tt --
fpp. BUT 0KCE HE S AT
N 1WjA:vassem6er's lap.
Vr lieUPPEP OH A BANANA 0
'A jgsUNG-. USUALLY A'ROOiy J
V JSJfc&XAW C AKW2.Y" IS-& VERY J
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
"What's the child's name?" asked
the priest of the grandfather at the
"I dunno," the grandfather replied.
And he turned to the father and whis
pered hoarsely: "What's the name?"
"Hazel," replied the father.
"What?" asked the grandfather.
"Hazel," repeated the father.
The grandfather threw up his
hands in disgust. "What d'ye think
uv thatfci' he asked thef priest. "With
the calendar av the saints full av
gur-rl names an' him namin' his aft
er a nut!" Ladies' Home Journal.
POLITE, BUT POINTED
A stern parish priest had issued to
his people a command against danc
ing, believing it to be a device of the
A few of the young people disobey
ed and attended a dance given at a
neighboring town. Finally it reached
the ears of the cleric, who, meeting
one of the culprits in the street one
orning, said in a stern voice:
"Good morning, cnild or tne aevil!"
"Good morning, father!" smiling
answered the pretty miss.
OF COURSE NOT
"Chicken pie!" the custpmer ex
claimed. "Chicken pie! Why, there's
not a piece of chicken in it and never
"Thai's right, sir. There's no
chicken in it"
"Then why do you call it chicken
"That's all right There don't have
to be chicken in a chicken pie. There's
no dog in a dog biscuit, is there? And
there ain't no geese in gooseberry
"I can tell you," said the accurate
man, "how much water flows under
London bridge very day to a quart."
"How much?" asked his skeptical