Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
"MJ .? vLmijpuim.-'
THE WORSE, THE BETTER
"So," said the visitor, "you intend
to become a physician when you
"Yes, sir," said the youth.
"And why have you decided upon
the medical profession?"
"Well, a doctor seems to be the
only man who keeps on getting paid
whether his work is satisfactory or
"My charge for taking out a tooth,
madam, is five dollars."
"But doctor, isn't that rather dear?
Other dentists only ask one."
"Ah, but you must remember,
ma'am, they hurry over their workj-4
while sometimes I spend an hour or
so drawing a tooth."--N. Y. World.
THE NATURAL QUERY
- Mother That lady dressed in
black, my dear, is a Sister ot Charity.
Ethel Which one, mama Faith
or Hope? Puck.
new york. it's sumtimes a hole lot
of satisfaction to say sumthing
smart, also it is sumtimes an easy
way to lose a good job
like a yung acktriss that has been
rehersing in a new show that is going
to open in a few weeks
she dident like the show, and she
dident like her part eather, but she
needed the money
well, she had to play one scene in
which she was suposed to show grate
sqrrow and remorse because she had
done sumthing stie hadent ought to
the way she done it dident please
the stage manidger a little bit, and
he kept giving her fitts about it
finelly, after be had told her about
100 times what he wanted her to do,
he says to her
my goodniss, you don't show re
morse and greef no more than a
stuffed owl, isn't there no way you
can think of to get yourself into a
proper state of mind to represent sor
row and angwish?
well, she snapps at him, i mite
imajine myself one of the boobs that
1s going to pay 2 dollers to see this
here show, after you ve got it framed
beleave me, he was rite back at her
i don't spose we will have the pleas
ure of your company, miss montmor
ency, he says, but if you ain't down,
in front you won't never see this
show at all, goodby and don't slam
the dore as you go out
but Bhe did, just the same
CO UP HEAD!
Zoology Teacher Edgar, what la,
the highest form of animal life?
Edgar The giraffe. Judge. -il.