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Newspaper Page Text
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,., - -EVER' BEEN THERE?
Here are some of the things one
hears in homes where the furniture is
"We never put a cup on that table."
"Please take the ash-tray off the
"Please put that chair back In its
"Would you mind moving your
chair while I scrape up the fallen ash
with the shovel?"
"We never smoke in the drawing
room." "Would you mind putting the sofa
"Ethel, bring a couple of chairs out
of the dining-room."
AVOIDING ALL RISKS
An old couple came in from the
country to see the circus. The
luncheon basket was heavy. The old
wife was carrying it. As they cross
ed a crowded street, the husband
held out his hand and said:
"Gimme that basket, Hannah."
The poor old woman surrendered
the basket with a grateful look.
'That's real kind of you, Josua," she
"Kind," growled the old man;
"kind. I was afraid ye'djget lost!"
The master plumber had become
rich, and was going abroad for his
health. On the voyage a school of
whales was sighted, and the plumber
was seen to rub his hands in ecsta
cies. "Why is he so happy?" asked a
"He can't help it," whispered the
captain. ''He imagines each spout
is a burst waterpipe, to be repaired
by him at his old rates."
"Your neighbor, Mrs. Comeup, has
so much savior faire."
"Then I bet she got it at a cheap
bargain place." Baltimore American.
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