OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 08, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-08-08/ed-1/seq-17/

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CINCHING IT
"How is it," inquired a young bride
"of an older married friend, "that you
always manage to have such delicious
beef?"
"It's very simple," said the older
woman. "I first select a good, honest
butcher, and then I stand by him."
"You mean that you give him all
of your trade?"
"No; I mean that I stand" by him
while he is cutting the meat."
U oo
M pnrtQ PirKiNn
i An Irish jarvey had two passengers
jyith him, one of whom lived in a very
ficn. grazing district. He was aston
ished at the bleak, miserable aspect of
he country they were passing
rouch. and so began Questioning
fcthe driver as to its quality, powers of
eduction, and what it would feed to
3pie acre.
"Well, sir," replied the driver, "It
-Lmight feed a hare to the acre in sum
mer, but in the winter she would haVe
Jo run for her life."
ffi
i -VELL.BUT WHY
! ' REVIVE IT )
(Mj
new york a yung lady which
teaches a sundy scool class in a swell
church up town pretty near busted
out laffing rite in sundy scool last
sundy
a new little gerl come into her class,
and the teecher was trying to kind
pf get acquainted with her
what does your papa do, dearie, she
asked the little gerl
my papa don't live with us, ansered
the little gerl, there is just me and
mama
o, said the teecher, then tell me,
what does your mama do, to earn a
living for you and her
she don't do anything, said the lit-
Ltle gerl, she just gets paid by the
wees ior staying away irvui papa
the teecher had a tufftime think
ing up what to say next, and keeping
her face straight, and everything, but
she got away with it
and after this she aint going to try
to get quite so well acquainted rite off
the reel
SHOCKING ENCOUNTER?
John Burns tells of a visit he once
paid to a London lunatic asylum. He
was taken all over the establishment,
and finally arrived at the gardens,
where a number of the patients were
working. Mr. Burns espied among
them a man with whom he had some
slight acquaintance, and 'was about
to speak to him, when the lunatic
suddenly exclaimed:
"Well, I never! You, too! The very
last person I thought to see here!"
L-o o
Folks who boast of their family
trees generally neglect to mention the,
shady branches.
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