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Newspaper Page Text
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JNTELUSBHT HUWAN BEINSs!
""Little Marjorie was telling about
her number work at the family dinner
table and papa wanted to test her
"Can you add small sums, girlie?"
"Ana you can suDtract, too?"
jjp- "Take one number from another?
i-v - -jes, papa.
"That's nice, dear. Supposing
r there were four files on a. table and
fl killed one, how many would be
r "One," was the proud answer. "The
The teacher had been trying to
explain the law of gravitation to the
"Now, Morris," she said, "can you
tell me why it is impossible for you
to lift yourself up by your boot
straps?" "Yes, ma'am," answered the little
fellow. "It's because I wear shoes."
"I shall refuse to pay for attend
ance," said the irate tourist who had
been staying at an old-fashioned
country hotel, and who had just been
presented with his bill. "Why, the
bells in the rooms are a perfect dis
grace; not one of them would ring.
Everything I wanted I had to fetch
myself. I must have spent some hours
tugging at those bell-pulls."
"It's true we have charged for at
tendance," said the smiling proprie
tor, "but see, we have charged you
nothing for your physical-culture
"Physical-culture course!" ex
claimed the tourist, in surprise. "I
don't know what you mean."
"The daily use of our dumb-bells,"
was the cool retort.
THE NERVE OF HIM
A New York artist, noted for his
etchings, tells one on himself.
One summer, while sketching in
New England, he made a study in a
farmer's barn. The farmer happened
to appear and said he'd like to have
the sketch, "if it isn't too expensive,"
he added cautiously. ,
"Oh," said the etcher, whose works
brings a stiff price in the metropoli
tan market, "I won't charge you any
thing for the sketch, "but" his eye
lighted on the pigpen "I'll tell you
what You can give me one of those
nice pink pigs lying there."
The farmer frowned. "Why man,"
he exclaimed, "do you know what
those pigs are worth? They're worth
a dollar apiece."
. THE CURE
"Doctor," said he, 'Tm a victim of
insomnia. I can't sleep if there's the
least noise, such as a cat on the back
fence, for instance."
"This powder wIQ be effective," re
plied the physician, after compound
ing a prescription.
"When do I take it, doctor?"
"You don't take it You give it to
the cat in a little Jnllk."