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Newspaper Page Text
.. .... I
"Hoot, mon, it's a grand land!"
said the Scot proudly, as he showed
his American visitor the .glories of the
Highlands. "And we've an echo here
that cannot be beaten."
Suiting the action to the word, he
yelled his war-cry, and exactly four
minutes later the echo returned as
clear as a bell.
"Wal," drawled his companion, "I
wish you were comin' back, over the
'pond' with me. In my home in the
Rockies I could show you some more
echo. When I go to bed at night I just
lean out of the bed and shout 'Time
to get up! Come on!' and, sure, just
eight hours later, that echo comes
back and wakes me up!"
A trained ostrich recently discon
certed its exhibitor at a music hall
by continually endeavoring to break
away from all restraint and to climb
over the footlights into the orchestra.
The widely-advertised act came to
a sudden end and the professor
emerged from behind the curtain and
apologized for the actions of his pet
in about these words:
"Lydies and gentlemen, hi am very
sorry to disappoint you this hevening.
We are compelled to cease our hen
gagement until the management hen
gages a new orchestra leader.
"The one at present hemployed 'as
no hair on top of 'is 'ead, and my
bird takes hit for a hegg." N. Y.
It was on slr east Texas train. The
little coffee pot of an engine, having
wheezed laboriously over serpentine
rails, jolted to a restful stop at no
place in particular. Time passed te
diously. Some of the passengers
suuseu nervously up turn uuwu uiu
aisles, while others drew their felt
hats down over their eyes and tried
to forget it When a half hour had
elapsed, the conductor came through.
"Say, friend," said the querulous
voiced old man, "as near as you can
tell, what's holdin' us?"
"We're taking on water," was the
"Well, why don't you git another
teaspoon? That un seems to leak
something dreadful!" PM. Public
ONE ON THE BOSS
Boss Are you the boss in this of
fice? Clerk (scared) N-n-no, sir.
Boss Well, then, don't act like a four pounds of meat but where is
driveUing idiot, I $he cat?"
A cook who had burned up a piece
of veal weighing four pounds threw it
away and reported to her mistress
that the cat had eaten the meat The
lady placed the cat upon the scales
and found it weighed exactly four
There, Bridget," she said, "are the