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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, August 18, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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"Mother," said Bobby, after a full
week of obedience, "have I been a
good boy lately?"
xes, dear, repnea tne mother, "a
very, very good boy."
''And do you trust me?" he con
tinued. r "Why, of course, mother trusts her
little boy!" she answered.
r "I mean really, really trust me, you
know, he explained.
"Yes, I really, really trust you,"
nodded his mother, "Why do you
' "Just because," said Bobby, diving
hliis hands into his pockets and look
ing her In the face. "If you trust me
like you say you do, why do you go
I on hiding the jam?"
CUTTING IT SHORT
"Why are you fooling so long with
(-that clock, Hortense?"
"I am cleaning its hands, madam,"
"Well, just wipe 'em. You'needh't
manicure 'em." Judge.
SPARED AN ORDEAL
A certain Maori "witch doctor" was
held in great awe and reverence by
superstitious natives. The man claim
ed that he was by his magic enabled
to walk upon the water, and one day
his disciples went with him to the
seashore, expecting to see him per
form the miracle. When they reach
ed the water's edge the man turned
to his followers.
"Don't you really believe that I can.
walk on the sea?" he asked in sol
"Yes, yes," they replied reverently,
"Then," said the witch doctor, as
he walked coolly away, "there is no
need for me to do it."
TIT FOR TAT
The following correspondence was
recently brought to a summary close:
"Mr. Thompson presents his com
pliments to Mr. Simpson and begs to
request that he will keep his doggs
from trespassing on his grounds."
"Mr. Simpson presents his compH
.ients to Mr. Thompson and begs to
suggest that in future he should not
spell 'dogs' with two gees."
"Mr. Thompson's respects to Mr.
Simpson, and will feel obliged if he
will add the letter 'e to the last word
in the note just received, so as to rep
resent Mr. Simpson and lady."
"Mr. Simpson returns Mr. Thomp
son's note unopened, the imperti
nence it contains being only equaled
by its vulgarity."
NO SPACE .'
"Yes, daughter has decided to post-
pone her marriage to Charlie De Bul
lion until autumn."
"Why, that's a surprise. What's
"Well, we all talked it over and de
cided there isn't any possibility of se
curing a proper amount of newspaper
attention until this shocking Huerta
scandal dies down, don't you know."