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Newspaper Page Text
HER PARTY SPEECH
Lucille was a carefully brought up
little girl of 5 and she returned in
high glee from her first party. "I was
a good girl, mamma," she announced,
"and I talked nice all the time."
"Did you remember to say some
thing nice to Mrs. Applegate just be
fore leaving?" asked her mother.
"Oh, yes, I did," responded "Lucille.
"I smiled at her and said: 1 enjoyed
myself very much, Mrs. Applegate. I
had lots more to eat tha.n I 'spected
to have.' " Ladies' Home Journal.
IT WAS SAFE
A child entered a grocery shop and,
putting a jar on the counter, asked
for a nickel's worth of sirup.
The grocer took away the jar, put
in the sirup, brought it back, and,
placing it on the counter, said:
"There's you sirup. Where's your
The child replied with bated
breath: "Mother put it at the bottom!"
As part of a holiday treat a little
boy was taken recently to St. Paul's
cathedral. When he returned home
some well-meaning persons proceed
ed to worry him as to what he had
seen in the cathedral.
"And did you see the tombs of all
the brave soldiers?" was one ques-.
"Yes," said Willie, with enthusi
"And isn't it fine to think of all the
great deeds they did?" the well-meaning
"I 'spose so," Willie admitted
grudgingly. "But on their tomb
stones it just said they'd defeated the
French; an' they couldn't have de
feated them very much, 'cos they're
all dead and the French are still
CLEVAH, BY GEORGE!
Sir George Reid, the High Com
missioner for the Australian Com
monwealth is popular here.
When he was made a Knight Com
Trtnnrifir of the Order of St. Michael
land St George the people of Australia
who had known him as plain ueorge
Reid worried him a good deal about
his new dignity.
At one of his meeting a heckler
called out, sarcastically:
"Say, Sir George, what does 'K. C
M. G.' mean?"
Without a moment's hesitation
"Keep calling me George!"
BAD PLACE TO GET SICK
Plese excoose Tillie she was ab
sene yesterday. It was raneing and
she got wet in the a. m. and she got
sick in the p. m. Excuse sent Chi
"1 .hear the sea captain is a disap
pointed man. He married a girl, and
she ran away from him."
"Yes; he took her for a mate, bu
she a Bkipper." Top-Noj