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Newspaper Page Text
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' CAN FURNISH Jsr
TI-- ' "g
A NEW HUNCH
J t The small daughter nad been pray
ing each evening for a baby sister.
iThe other morning her mother, read-
ig the paper, exclaimed: "I see Mrs.
mith has a little daughter."
L, "How do you know that?" asked
jp ; "I read It in the paper."
- The child tnougn a moment, then
said: "I know what I am going to
j&o. I am going to give up praying
rjind begin advertising."
c 0 0
n ntuuunn imuloui
- It was a sweet, sad play, and there
was hardly a dry handkerchief in the
Itouse. But one man in the first bal
cony irritated his neighbrs excessive
ay. Instead of weeping, he laughed.
fe At last a lady by his side turned
ppon him Indignantly.
L "I d-don't knw what brought y-you
- Sere," she sobbed, "but if y-you don't
; 3jke the p-play you might Wet other
ENTITLED TO THAT ROOM
He came ambling up to the hotel
desk, leaned his elbow upon the
counter and said slowly to the clerk:
"I want a room."
Yes, sir. What kind?" asked the
"I want room 30."
"That's taken. I can give you an
other just as good."
"Don't want no other. I want
"My dear sir," pleaded the patient
clerk, "room 30 is now occupied by
Mr. Dennis McCarthy."
"That's me. I have just fallen out
o' the window."
The old horse, who interfered bad
ly, and his driver, Sam Winters, had
undeniably seen better days.
Sam had just finished his day's
work of peddling, and was driving
wearily home through a thickly pop- I
"Say, mister," sang out a would
be wit, from his' post on the corner,
"that there horse of your'n is inter
ferin' to beat the band!"
Sam glanced around slowly and In
a mild- unconcerned manner queried:
"He ain't interferin' with you, Is
he? " Lippincott's.
NOT WORTH WHILE
Little Kate with swollen face and
streaming eyes, strenuously opposed
her mother's plan of visiting the den
tist Her mother gained a complete
victory by promising her a kitten for
which she "had been longing for
The gas has been duly adminis
tered, and the wretched tooth drag
ged from its lair. Kate began to wake
up. Then she felt her aching head,
and became aware of the pain in her
gums. Then she was violently sick.
Lying back in her chair, exhausted
and miserable, she suddenly startled
the dentist by exclaiming:
"What a rotten way to get a kit-tear
p-jeopl enjoy it!"