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Newspaper Page Text
(THE LARGEST SOEW
THIS EPAKTMSMT IS
y" . 6 r soRRV. sir. J
They had been married for some'
little time, and it seemed to her that
-his love had grown cold.
"You Used to tell me," she com
plained, "that I was worth my weight
"But you must remember that you
didn't weight more than half as much
then as you do now."
c SUMMER BIZ'
F "Wotcher doln' these davs. Chim-
unabuu mm tu ., vcuvs a II I II-
lion. What you doin'?"
"Killin' potato bugs at fi' cents a
15 DREADED THE RESULT
"You don't seem enthusiastic about
Elevating the stage."
iv, gtuu ..u ui(uuiM ujauagGl.
''The more you try to elevate the
,stage, the more depressed the box
office seems to become."
' SUDDEN MATRIMONY
One of the most sudden cases of
matrimony is reported from Bula
wayo, South Africa. There a young
couple presented themselves one
Saturday afternoon on the magis
trate's tennis lawn and interrupted
the game by demanding to be mar
ried. "Why on earth," said the magis
trate, "didn't you come to see me this
"But, please, sir, we only met at
lunch for the first time."
"Do you like the little new sister at
your house," said the kindly neigh
bor to a small boy.
"Yes, I like her," answered Willie,
"but Td rather had a brother."
"Well, if you aren't satisfied, why
don't you take her back and exchange
her?" asked the neighbor.
"Oh, it's too late now," answered
Willie. "We got her a week ago. and
she's been laundered a couple of times
already. No shop would exchange
A SQUELCHED SQUAB
"Now James," the teacher asked,
"do you really understand the mean
ing of 'extinct'?"
"Yes'm," replied James.
"Then name one bird that is now
James hesitated a moment, then
"Chipper," he exclaimed.
"Chipper?" inquired the teacher,
"And what kind of bird Is that?"
"My pet pigeon," came the reply.
"The cat caught him this morning!"
NO SMALL POTATOES
An Easterner who had bought a
farm in California had heard of his
neighbor's talent for raising large po
tatoes, bo Bent his farmhand over to
get a hundred pounds.
"You go back home," answered the
talented farmer to the messenger,
"and tell your boss that I won't cu$
a potato for anyone!"
AOfc.. o. wmm'--"---