Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
" rlHoW,OEM,Drr Vou3
y KT CmcB EM1? S-.
l I ' CffTCHED seH
THE RESTLESS AGE
"Have you a rest room?"
"We used to have them in the old
fcdays," said the manager of the de
partment store, "but there has been
Jio demand for such things for many
months. We have turned all our rest
rooms into tango parlors." Detroit
IN THE LINE OF DUTY
'Mow's this?" demanded his wife.
'VYou were talking about jackpots
and flushes in your sleep last night"
"I er oh yes! I tried a gambling
case in court that day," exclaimed
the resourceful lawyer. Kansas City
Magistrate Can't this case be set-
'XLtled out of court?
Mulligan Sure, sure. That's what
we were trying to do, your honor,
Lwhen the police interf erred- Brook
Guzzley had returned from an al
coholic vacation. On his desk lay a
blue envelope. The contents were
characteristic of envelopes of that
shade. Guzzley went indignantly to
the boss and demanded:
"How did this happen your firing
"It didn't happen," calmly replied
the boss. "It was not an accidental
discharge. I knew all the time you
were loaded." Peoria Journal
This is told by a Michigan health
"We were raising funds for paying
for operations for removal of the
adenoids and tonsils. At one home
where a little boy called the lady ask
ed, "What are you going to do with
the money?' The little boy quickly
replied, It is to buy adenoids for lit
tle children that haven't got none.' "
AH, WHAT THEN?
He had used persuasion and argu
ment in vain. At last he said in des
peration: "Edwidge, if you will marry me I
will take out 500,000 frdncs of life in
surance; if I die you will be safe from
"Yes," was the reply, "but if you
O O rrr
WHERE SHE WAS AT
Margaret How does your friend
Mrs. Brown stand on the suffrage
Anna She's doing picket duty.
Margaret Doing picket duty
what, for suffrage?
Anna Oh, no; she's on the fence.
GIVING FIRST AID
"Won't you please help a poor crip
"You look healthy enough. How
the deuce are you crippled?"
"Financially, kind sir." PhiladeJ