OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 03, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-09-03/ed-1/seq-17/

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THE RESTLESS AGE
"Have you a rest room?"
"We used to have them in the old
fcdays," said the manager of the de
partment store, "but there has been
Jio demand for such things for many
months. We have turned all our rest
rooms into tango parlors." Detroit
Free Press.
IN THE LINE OF DUTY
'Mow's this?" demanded his wife.
'VYou were talking about jackpots
and flushes in your sleep last night"
"I er oh yes! I tried a gambling
case in court that day," exclaimed
the resourceful lawyer. Kansas City
Journal.
INTERRUPTED
Magistrate Can't this case be set-
'XLtled out of court?
Mulligan Sure, sure. That's what
we were trying to do, your honor,
Lwhen the police interf erred- Brook
lyn Life.
RESASSURED
Guzzley had returned from an al
coholic vacation. On his desk lay a
blue envelope. The contents were
characteristic of envelopes of that
shade. Guzzley went indignantly to
the boss and demanded:
"How did this happen your firing
me?"
"It didn't happen," calmly replied
the boss. "It was not an accidental
discharge. I knew all the time you
were loaded." Peoria Journal
o o
CHARITABLE ACT
This is told by a Michigan health
supervisor:
"We were raising funds for paying
for operations for removal of the
adenoids and tonsils. At one home
where a little boy called the lady ask
ed, "What are you going to do with
the money?' The little boy quickly
replied, It is to buy adenoids for lit
tle children that haven't got none.' "
AH, WHAT THEN?
He had used persuasion and argu
ment in vain. At last he said in des
peration: "Edwidge, if you will marry me I
will take out 500,000 frdncs of life in
surance; if I die you will be safe from
want"
"Yes," was the reply, "but if you
don't die?"
O O rrr
WHERE SHE WAS AT
Margaret How does your friend
Mrs. Brown stand on the suffrage
question?
Anna She's doing picket duty.
Margaret Doing picket duty
what, for suffrage?
Anna Oh, no; she's on the fence.
Christian Register.
o o
GIVING FIRST AID
"Won't you please help a poor crip
pled man?"
"You look healthy enough. How
the deuce are you crippled?"
"Financially, kind sir." PhiladeJ
phia Ledger.
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