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Newspaper Page Text
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HOW THEY BITE
One Sunday morning, a deacon ob
served a boy industriously fishing.
After the lad had landed several, he
approached and said: "My son, it is
Very cruel to impale that poor, help-
L'iess beetle upon that sharp hook."
- Said the boy: "on, say, mister,
is only an imitation! It ain't a
"Bless me!" replied the deacon.
iy, I thought it was a real bug!"
The boy, lifting a fine string of
fh, said: "So did these Buckers!"
PRETTY CLOSE CALL
An old uerman was aeuvenng a
self-imposed address on military sci
ence. "My Bon Otto," said he, "goes off to
the war and wears a high hat. Along
-comes a bullet right through the
&pniddle of it Had he been wearing a
.cap, mein Gott! Otto would have been
tilled !" Everybody's.
SAVING THE SITUATION
Little Lottie was being taken a
journey by train by her Aunt Katie
and her young man, and when they
got into one of the numerous tun
nels of the suburb the smacking of
lips was painfully audible to everyone
in the compartment, followed by lit
tle Lottie, lisping:
"Kiss me, too, auntie."
Light broke in on them again be
fore Aunt Kate ceased blushing; but,
then, with great presence of mind,
she turned to her coyish little niece
"It Is wrong of you to say "Kiss me
two,' my dear; you should be correct
and say Kiss me twice.'" Strand
Hemmandhaw, who was writing a
letter, looked up to inquire:
Ts it ever permissible to apply gen
der to volcanoes?"
"I don't know," Mrs. Hemmandhaw
rejturned, "but if it is they are surely
"Because they sputter, grumble
and smoke." Youngstown Tele
COT THERE FINALLY
A little boy being taken to task by
his teacher for being late one very
slippery day during the winter, gave
as an excuse that it was so slippery
that every time he took one Btep for
ward he slipped back two. The teach
er, in surprise, asked how he got to
school at all, whereupon the little
fellow quickly replied, "Why, I just
turned around and went toward
Boarder I found something in my
bedroom last night, madame, and
Landlady (indignantly) There's
no such thing In the house. You
must have brought it in with you.
Boarder Ah, perhaps I did it was
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