Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
CHILD'S SIZE RIVERS
X. "Johnny," said she, beginning -with
a bright-faced youngster, "what is
-the name of the principal river in
. "The Nile," was the easy rejoinder
"That's right," returned the
acher, encouragingly. "Now please
ve me the names of the Nile s
"Juveniles, Miss Mary," answered
ITS STEW TRUE
A girl who saw the Atlantic ocean
for the first time was standing on
the beach, gazing dreamily over the
expanse of foaming water.
"So this is the first time you've
CppVer seen the ocean," said her escort.
"Yes, the very first time.
"And what do you think of it?"
(. "Ah!" she sighed, in ecstacy, ."it
Smells just like oysters." National
1 Food Magazine.
" THE USUAL WAY
A group of Boston pnysicians were
"An unfortunate man," said one,
"was seized suddenly on the street
with cramps. He was hurried, de
spite his protests, to a hospital. The
physicians there looked him over,
pecked him and said:
" 'We may as well remove your ap
pendix.' " 'Is it necessary?' asked the trem
" 'It is not necessary,' Bald one
physician, "but it is customary.' "
TO THE LOWEST BIDDER
"Have a chair," said her father,
kindly. "I presume you have made
an estimate of what it will cost to
keep my daughter in the style to
which she has been accustomed?"
"I have, sir."
"And what are your figures?"
"Ten thousand dollars a year."
"I'm sorry, my boy," said tie older
man, "but I cannot afford to throw
.away $2,000 a year. Another suitor
'has figured he can do it for $8,000."
ABLE TO SUPPLY HER
"Do you think you will be able to
provide my daughter with everything
"I think so, sir. She says all In the
world she wants is me." Kansas
o o -
NOT A HOSTLER
"Martha," said the mistress to the
new cook, "I -thought I told you we'd
have curried chicken for dinner."
"Yes'm," the hew cook answered,
"but the hostler was busy, and I ain't
no hand with a curry-comb."
AS THE CROW FLIES
Mandy Yessah: after de shot
were fired mah Rastus ran seben
blocks as the crow flies.
Judge As the crow files?
Mandy Yessah. All you could seo
were jus' one black streak. Puck.
1 - ' 1i-TTM,JrTlT iii