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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 09, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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I SAY, YOU BEAT HIM UP AWFUL.
VOT IT HE AY YEN HE CALLED
npu scrcawGs im hersian :
I' w7mhh Mow" VAST HE CALLED
L. iak.v$ ( ME 1N PERSIAN? X
WlRuJ XOMT UNP&5STAND
IN BETTER CONDITION
One afternoon a stranger happen
ed in a country town, and while at
tending to some business in the cor
ner grocery an old man rambled in.
The stranger became interested and
f asked him his age.
"I am just 100 years old," answer
ed the old man, sitting on a packing
"Is that so?" jokingly responded
the, stranger. "Well, I'll bet you don't
tlive to see another hundred."
i "I don't know about that," was
the smiling rejoinder of the aged na
tive. "I am a whole lot stronger now
than I was when I started on my first
-hundred." Philadelphia Telegraph.
A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE
"You never heard of women cash
4ers running off with their employ
"Not often; and when it does hap-
I pen they take the employer, too."
N. Y. World.
TAKING IT ALL v
"Before I agree to undertake your
defense," said the eminent criminal
lawyer, "you'll'have to tell me the
whole truth. Did you embezzle the
one hundred thousand dollars you
are accused of having taken?"
"Yes, sir," replied the accused
man. Ill not attempt to conceal the
fact from you. I stole every cent''
"How much of it have you still?"
"It's all gone but a couple of dol
lars." "Young man," said the eminent
lawyer, buttoning his coat about him
and putting on his gloves, "you had
better plead guilty and throw your
self on the jyiercy of the court."
'Til do it if you say so, sir. What
are yo,u going to charge me for the
"Two dollars." Ladles' Home
THE SALE WENT ON
He held a job as elevator operator
and complied with his wife's request
to attend a soap sale at one of the
larger department stores.
Among the many bargain seekers
was a woman with a hatpin. The
point of the pin had already found
one victim and was trying its best to
add to its record. After the elevator
man dodged the pin three times, he
politely asked its owner to remove it.
She glared at him and said:- "In a
crowd like this you've got to-take
care of yourself." "I wfil," said the
man as he reached up and deftly bent
the pin double. According to the wo
man, he was "no gentleman."
' o o
A BUSINESS FAILURE
"And how," said she, sympatheti
cally, "did the hand laundry you were
managing come to fall on you?"
The tramp glanced round, it might
be as if he suspected the dog were
within call. Then passing out and
closing the gate, he said: "She quit
and went home to her mother."