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Newspaper Page Text
I I n
VAT ID DOWN HART.
I SRfT, VOX VH.L OQ
I cn'33 More .
HANT OR FDOT!
Two Philadelphians were talking
qf the fortune of a third denizen of
that city when one said:
Jv "His first lucky strike was in eggs.
4iHe bought 10,000 dozen at a low fig
ure, put mem in coxa storage, ana
sold them at a profit of more than
300. per cent That was the corner-
Itone of his great fortune."
I K "Ah!" exclaimed the other. "Then
the hens laid it!" Harper's Maga-
A? FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Many a jest is spoken in earnest
Next to running a newspaper, we
can't think of any task quite so
thankless as helping settle a family
Girls are more or less particular
about their company, but few of
them go so far as to rave about a
Jjijodel Young Man. Peoria Journal.
a Long way round
A teacher of mathematics who
was country bred, tells this:
One day an undergraduate had
performed some peculiarly useless
and complicated process in arriving
at the solution of a problem, when
the instructor said:
"This reminds me of a colt once
owned by an old friend of mine. This
colt was put out to pasture, after
having been fed from its birth in a
hox-stall and watered at a trough in
the yard. The pasture lay across a
small river, and in the middle of the
day the colt would swim the stream
to go up to the barn for a drink o(
They were talking about their hus
bands over the tea things.
"Theophilus, you know, is very
absent-minded, and so wrapped up
in his new study of photography."
She paused a moment "The
ophilus came out of the dark room
the other evening just as dinner was
set I says to him, 'Theophilus what
are von RtanrtlnEr un there rolliner that
J plate bf soup around like that for?'
Just a minute,' he says to me 'just
that light high coming' up?' High
light nothing!' I says; 'that's a crack
er. Sit down! '
Pat one day bought a sack of flour
and was proceeding on his home
ward Journey with the flour on his
back when he resolved to take the
horse car. When he got upon the car
he still retained the flour on his back,
standing up all the while. A stout
old lady, being the only other occu
pant of the car, asked:
"Why don't you put your flour
down on the floor, Pat?"
"Well," said Pat "the poor old
horse has enough to pull wid the
likes of you and me, so I'll hold the