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Newspaper Page Text
A QUIET DEPARTURE "
Mrs. Smith, was engaging a new
-pervant, and sat facing the latest ap
"I hope," said she, "that you had
,iio angry words with your last mis
tress before leaving."
c "Oh, dear, no, mum; none what
ever," the prospective maid replied
'with a toss of her head. "While she
was having her bath. I just locked
the bathroom door, took all my
things and went away as quietly as
possible." Youth's Companion.
7. SOMETHING WRONG
"What name are you calling?" ask-
d the telephone girl.
'McCohen," the subscriber an
"I beg pardon?" said the telephone
The subscriber repeated the name.
e wire was suent for a moment.
" Then the telephone girl said: "Wait
a minute, please. I think the wires
I .SELF-PRcfreCTfON f
HIS DAINTY DEN
"When Billinger bought his new
house it was with the exp' iss under
standing that he should have a room
all of his own a den, or study."
"Yes, I know what you mean. Did
he get it?"
"He got it and his wife furnish
"With a sewing machine, a cutting
table, two dressers, dummies, three
sewing chairs, and a full-length mir
A Canadian singer was doing his
professional best before a large audi
ence in. Wellington, Australia, when a
section of the plastering fell with a
After the dusThad fairly settled a
man in the audience arose and said:
"He sure did'bring down the house!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A FAMILY AFFAIR
; Papa and the three children were
to give mother a birthday gift The
youngest boy was chosen to,fnake
the presentation address. Us pre
pared it very carefully and thus de
livered it in due season:
"Dear mamma, this gift is present
ed to you by your three children and
your one husband.
"My baby is very intelligent"
"She keeps examining her toes,"
"How does that denote precocity?"
"Why, the intelligent child evident
ly realizes that one must have perfect
toes if one proposes to tango credit-
ably." Kansas City Journal.
THE PERIOD "OF PEACE
"Ours was a quiet wedding," con
fessed skimpy little Mr. Hennypeck.
"My wife did not commence to find
fault with me until nearly an hour
af'"- the ceremony was concluded."