Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
THE STOMACH'S FUNCTION
. The teacher was examining the
iclass In physiology.
i' "Mary, you tell us," she asked,
"what is the function of the stom
ach?" "The function of the stomach," the
little girl answered, "is to hold up
ritK POINT Or7 VIEW
g- iuwi rapa iou ioousn gm, tnai.
English nobleman who's courting you
geaiiy aoesn t iook on you as rua
L Willful Heiress I don't care for
that, papa, as long as he's my peer.
! SMALL TOWN SCANDAL
Uncle Ezra None of the Wobble
family are attending any of the so
cial functions this year. There must
have been a death in the family.
Uncle Eben Yep. That's it. They
buried old Grandpa Wobble in the
family dress-suit Puck.
-Rolled oats V) '
WHAT EVERYBODY KNOWS
The Sunday school teacher was
talking to her pupils on patience. She
explained her topic carefully, and, as
an aid to understanding, Bhe gave
each pupil a card bearing the picture
of a boy fishing.
"Even pleasure," she said, "re
quires the exercise of patience. See
the boy fishing; he must sit and wait
and wait He must be patient"
Having1 treated the subject very
fujly she began with the simplest,
most practical question:
"And now can any little boy tell
me what we need- most when we go
The answer was quickly shouted
with one voice:
"These Mexicans, for all their
boasted Spanish politeness, are a
laugh. Why, a New York subway
guard could give a Mexican cards
and spades in the politeness game
and beat him hands down."
The speaker was Yngve Lung
strom, railway engineer of Denver.
"In a block once in the traffic of
Mexico City, my cabby shrieked at
the man ahead of us:
" 1 had a beard like yours once,
but when I found what it made me
look like, Santa Maria, I cut it off."
" 'Yes,' answered the other cabby,
'and I had a face like yours once, and
when I found I couldn't cut it off, by
the holy Saint Christopher, I raised a
IT WOULD HELP
A tired little boy sat on the curb
with his chin resting in his hands.
"I wish I was rich," he excalimed.
"What would you do with your
money if you were rich?"" asked one
of his playmates.
"I'd buy a great big motor car,"
anBwere dthe little chap, "so I could
fly my kite out of the back of it wlthi
out running my legs off,