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Newspaper Page Text
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J V T I SHOLQ SAFE )
O ,V ELECTRICITY. )
MUCH. Jk "
A CHANGE OF MIND
"Madam," said the tramp, whose
Planners smacked of the stage, "I
would fain lay me down here for a
while in the shade of your porch and
take me noon siesta. You have no
objections, I hope?"
"None in the least," answered the
housewife, "but Pete, our bulldog,
who has not yet discovered your
presence here, also likes to lie in the
shade of the porch and take his noon
esta, and rm afraid you would have
me difficulty in persuading him to
are it with you."
"Madam." answered the tattarml
j&espian with a hurt look, "I bid you
VUU-uj'c. oaiumuic ouu,
AH, HOW DIP THEY!
uibuc uw V"TA11b uyaiiuiciiui;
Mamma, aid me angeis mat
3hrought baby have flaming 'swords?
v"P Mgminn Nr rifrnr Whir rt vnn
- Little Lola Then how did they get
past tha janitor?, . j
SOUSED BUT SCINTILLANT
Here is a story that some of the
house members tell regarding a su
perior court justice of Tennessee.
During a Democratic state conven
tion at Nashville, a judge who had
imbibed too freely of the famous Lin
coln county brand, took the floor and
attempted to argue the questions em
bodied in the temporary organization.
As a matter of course, his logic
was befuddled, and one of his friends,
not wishing to see him make a fool
of himself, said to him in a loud whis
per: "Sit down, judge. You don't
know the difference between tem
porary and permanent you're
With some difficulty his honor
steadied himself, and with mocking
"Yesh, I'm drunk, thash tempor
ary; you're a blank fool, thash per
Neil Turpin, representative of a
fruit company, (stationed at Limon.
He was introdu&ed in the Atlantic
Club to a young" Englishwoman.
"He's from the 'show me' state,"
added the introducer.
"The show me state V queried the
girl arching her eyebrows.
The matter was explained. A few
days later Turpin met the girl again.
She greeted him cordially.
"Oh, yes, Mr. Turpin," she chirrup
ed, "you are the man from the state
where one must demonstrate.''
Kansas City Star.
"Have you any part of an automo
bile that you don't want?"
"I might give you an old tire.
What's the idea?"
"You know how our grandmothers
used to make crazy quilts for the
"On the same principle I am trying
to assemble an automobile for a poor
woman who has none." Louisvfll
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