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Newspaper Page Text
" voT? ooPoomdsP
AKf3CY,MAM, "rtoUMOSTrtWHEUD )
asCTSfflCHEL VEW NtoU y
C5WKSHEt ItXJRSELP.". r
Nervous Lady Now, be careful
how you drive, cabby, and go slowly
over the stones, for I hate to be shak
en about. And, mind you, pull up at
the right house and look out for
those dreadful steam rollers.
Cabby Near fear, mum. I'll do
my best. And which hospital would
you wish to be taken to, mum, in case
of an accident.
Small Boy (who had been playing
ball for six hours) My legs ache.
Anxious Mamma What have you
- Small Boy I dunno. I did a exam-
Tile on the blackboard yesterday.
That horrid woman has broken
up my home!"
"Taken away your husband?"
"No;vthe cook." Baltimore Amer
MISSED THE BEST PART
"Gracious, isn't it dark!" muttered
old Mrs. Gimps, as the attendant
with one streak of his electric lamp
showed her a seat.
Loosening her bonnet-strings, Mrs.
G. tried to penetrate the surrounding
"How d'you like it, grandma?" in
quired her young grandson, who had
accompanied the old lady on this, her
initiation into the glamor of the film.
"Sh sh!" was the grandma's only
Several times he essayed to sound
her as to her impressions of the place,
but was sternly made to hold his
peace. On reaching home he told his
mother all that had passed.
"Didn't you care for it, mother?"
she inquired of the old lady.
"Yes, my dear," said Mrs. G., "but,
what with the boy talking and me
getting a bit deaf, I couldn't hear a
word they said."
NO FURTHER DOUBT
When my wife and I were on our
honeymoon we were advised to visit
a certain ruined castle the custodian
of which was a relative of the noble
Having viewed the glorious old pile,
I was at ajost how and in what way
to offer a gratuity, bearing in mind
the "blue blood" of our guide. The
following conversation took place:
"We thank you for your courtesy,
and would be glad to give a small sum
to any cause if you have a box for
"Sir," was the reply, "we have such
"Then may I see it?" I asked.
"Sir" with a -pleasant smile and
a bow "I am the box." Strand.
A DULL SESSION
Ray As long as there was another
boarder at the farm-house, you had
somebody to talk to
Fay But as there were only the
two of us, there was nobody to talk