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i ! C p ( wHX 'rbuTAKE oer te?aNes war c IH"T)ERlJON'sBC1DE ER. ? '-'Os. Poor, brioe sets eatem : or TssV -S-0P BV CER . ' BE REASONABLE, PARSON At a small country church a newly married couple were receiving some advice as to their future conduct. "You must never both get cross at once; it is the husband's duty to protect his wife, and a wife must love and obey her husband and follow him wherever he goes." "But, sir " pleaded the young bride. "I haven't finished yet," remark ed the clergyman. "She must " "But, please, sir, can'.t you alter ,that last part?- My husband is a post 4man." ', o o A LIVELY TIME The other day a young woman Lteacher took eight of her pupils -tnrougn tne museum or natural his tory. "Well, my boy, where did vou "go with your teacher this after noon?" asked the mother of one of them on his return. With joyous promptness, he answered, "She took us to a dead circus," , PERHAPS HE MIGHT Jones was one of those people -who always have, or think they have, something serious the matter with them. Recently he went down to stay with a friend at the seaside. A few days after his arrival he was walking along the beach with his host, when suddenly he remarked: "I drank a glassful of salt water yesterday, fresh from the sea, and, d'you know, I really think I derived relief from it. I wonder," he added, "do you think I might take a second glass?" His host hesitated for a while. Then: "Yes," he said; "I think you might. I don't fancy it will be missed." o o A PATRIOTIC SUGGESTION Scion of Noble House has island for sale wild scenery and preciptous cliffs; single gun on adjacent main land would dominate only possible place of disembarkation. Ideal for colonization by suffragettes. The ad vertiser is conservative, he would gladly come to bargain terms with present government or high-minded philanthropist with country's weal at heart. Box C-469, The Times. Adv. in London Times.. A TECHNICAL TERM "You do not speak to him?" "No," replied the scholarly girl. "When I passed him I gave him the geological survey." "The geological survey!" "Yes. What is commonly known as the stony stare." Washington Star. o o THE BETTER PART "Why don't you discover a river or something?" demanded the wife of the congressman. "Every man to his part, my dear. We can't all be spectacular. I may never have discovered any rivers, but I have secured appropriations to dredge quite a fewy-pngky