OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 26, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-09-26/ed-1/seq-17/

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COBB'S ADVICE
A tramp recently called at the
house of Irvln S. Cobb.
Hi!' "I've walked many miles to see
.you, sir," said the tramp, "because
people told me you were very hind to
poor, unfortunate fellows like me."
" 'Indeed V said the author. "And
are you going back the same way?"
"Yes, sir," was the answer. '
"Well," said Mr. Cobb, "just con
tradict that rumor as you go, will
you? Good morning."
o o
DOWN TO BRASS TACKS
"I never loved anyone "btttfyou."
"Nonsense!"
"You are the light of my life."
' 'Tve heard that before."
p "I can't live without your love."
"Loose talk!"
"If I could only tell you how much
love you!"
"Get some new stuff!"
"Will you marry me?"
- "Well, now you're talking!"
Columbia Jester.
SPLENDID ACOUSTICS
Judge Hanlngton, when leader of
the opposition in the New Brunswick
legislature, representing the county
of Westmoreland, was once deliver
ing a vigorous address in the house
against some measure of the gofern
ment, then led by Mr. Blair.
Oh, that my constituents in West
moreland could hear me now!" ex
claimed the opposition leader in vio
lent tones.
Mr. Blair motioned to an attend
ant "Open the windows," he said.
0 Ot
A SUBSTITUTE
"I see," said the young man,
"that Ermintrude has a new motor
car."
"Yes, her papa gave her 'a dandy,"
burbled the joyful youth.
"And how does she like it?"
"She says she is madly In love with
it"
"Another case where man is dis
placed by machinery."
o o
TO THE POINT
"Want a job, eh?" said the pros
pective employer to the shrewd-look
ing applicant for the position as er
rand boy. "Well, do you know how
far the moon is from the earth?"
"No, sir," said the youth, "I don't
know. But it ain't close enough to
prevent me from running yer er
rands." He got the job.
HERE'S AN EARFUL
"What kind of a present shall I
bring you for your birthday?" asked
a father of his five-year-old daughter.
"Oh," she replied, "bring me some
holes for my ears so I can wear ear
rings." o o
THE DOCTOR'S DESIRE
"HowH yeh have yer eggs?" de
manded the busy waitress.
'.'As well as could be expected un
der the circumstances," replied th
absent-minded physician. Buck

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