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Newspaper Page Text
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GETTING 'ROUND IT
- Lincoln Steffens, in a recent ad
"The -wife of a child labor million
aire once asked him in some little dis
gust: " 'George, suppose you'd been born
in the days when everybody had to
live by the sweat of their brow.
"What would you do then?'
" Td open a stand,' George an
swered, 'for the sale of handker
o o J&
WAS A NATIVE
A lady accosted a little girl who
was entering one of the fashionable
New York flats where she knew the
rules were exceedingly strict, and
after some little conversation, said:
"How is it you live in these fiats?
I thought they would not take chil
dren. How did you get in?"
"Why," replied the child, "I was
- THE CLIMBER
It's a mistake to think that climb
ers never succeed in getting Into the
highest society. They succeed very
often, indeed, if they've got wealth,
perseverance and cheek.
They must have plenty of cheek.
They must be like Mrs. Spragg. A
leader of the highest society said with
a sigh of Mrs. Spragg:
"That tiresome woman still keeps
"Why don't you snub her?" asked
"Well, the next time she calls don't
offer her a chair."
"Oh, I tried that. I tried that last
"WeU, she always brings a camp
FEARED THE TRUTH
"George," said the wife to her gen-
eraUy unappreciative husband, "how
do you hke my new hat?"
"WeU, my dear," said George, with
great candor, "to ten you the
"Stop right there, George! If
you're going to talk that way about
it I don't want to know."
To please her wee daughter Doris,
Mrs. X. the other day bought a globe
of goldfish, and when the Uttle one
arrived home from school the first
thing she saw was her new present.
After some moments of gleeful chat
ter, she asked soberly: "Mamma,
where do we keep 'em when they've
had their bath?"
TIT FOR TAT
This is the way chfldren sometimes
turn the tables on their elders.
Lloyd George, after distributing
prizes at a school, said he hoped the
cnUdren would have a good record
when he should come again. There
upon they rose, and with one accord
said, Same to you, sir."