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Newspaper Page Text
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Ali, a fat, lazy rascal, was con
verted from the Mohammedan faith
to Christianity. A Mohammedan,
you know, can drink no alcoholic
Well, Mr. Goodes, All's missionary,
came on the new convert one even
ing in the marketplace drunk.
"Why, AH!" he said reproachfully.
"Why, Ali, what religion have you
"Same religion as massa's," Ali an
swered. "Plenty rum drink."
An Alabama negro was defended
in court by Senator Morgan. Hav
ing cleared the negro of the charge,
the senator said to him: "Bastus, did
you really steal the mule?"
"Well, Marse Morgan, it was just
like this," said Rastus. "I" really
thought that I did steal dat mule, but
after what you said to the jury I
know I didn't."
" A BROODY OSTRICH '
A trained ostrich recently discon
certed its exhibitor at a London mu
sic hall by continuously endeavoring
to break away from all restraint and
to climb over the footlights Into the
The widely advertised act came to
a sudden end and the professor
emerged from behind the curtain and
apologized for the actions of his pet
in about these words:
"Lydles and gentlemen. Hi am very
sorry to disappoint you this heaven
ing. We are compelled to cease our
hengagement until the management
hengages a new orchestra leader.
The one at present hemployed 'as no
'air on top of 'is 'ead, and my bird
takes hit for a hegg." American
WHY HE WEPT
It was at a soiree musical, describ
ed in Sharps and Flats. A singer had
just finished "My Old Kentucky
The hostess, seeing one of her
guests weeping in a remote corner,
went to him and inquired in a sym
"Are you a Kentuckian?"
And the answer quickly came:
"No, madame, I am a musician."
As the conductor was. punching
tickets, a man said to him, with a
"You have a lot of wrecks on this
road, don't you?"
"Oh, no," said the conductor.
"You're the first I've seen for soma
THE HEAVENLY KIND
"Mamma, I know what makes
that," said small Sadie, who was
watching the lightning flashes during
a summer shower.
"The angels are scattering
matches on the clouds," was the reply.