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Newspaper Page Text
HEY, VOT M3U TJNf?oWIN&
IT BACK ioR,? &OU-T
feU tiKB CATTISH?
s"" i - C BuJ" t wbuuA
A f BE CRUEL To
A drummer on this train this hap
pened years ago said pleasantly to
"We're going to be late, friend."
"No," said the conductor in surly
tones; "no, we ain't going to be late,
"But," said the drummer, "I
thought we were going to tie up here
for the night!"
"So we are," the conducor sneered.
tta. -ma n-wa' Vttf fhof OfSf oroinor tn
make us late. We don't run so close
-to time as all that."
"I have the darnedest luck!"
"What the matter?"
"We were having a little party, and
a serious-looking fellow came up and
said he was collecting for the Y. M.
C. A. I gave him five dollars."
"And now I find he's a member of
3he Young Murphy's Cocktail Asso-
1 elation." Yale Record,
ON FAMILY CREDIT
The Hon. Clarence examined the
names of the tailors along the road
until he came to the establishment
for which he was evidently seeking.
He sauntered in.
"I ah understand that my son
has an account here which has been
owing for ah some considerable
time?" he remarked to the bowing
"That is so, sir; but please don't
mention it. I assure you there is no
hurry, in fact "
"Ye-e-s, quite so," interrupted the
Hon. Clarence. "So I thought, or I
should nod have called to tell you
that in future I intend to get my
ah clothes here, too!"
The two oldest inhabitants were
very ignorant, neither of them being
able even to tell the time of day. A
friend of Uncle Ben's gave him a
watch, of which he was very proud.
One day, before the crowd at the cor
ner store, Old Pete, being Blightly
jealous of such wealth and wishing
to embarrass bis rival, said: "Say,
Ben, what time have ye got?"
The other old fellow drew out his
watch and turned its face toward his
inquisitor. "There she be!" he ex
claimed. Fete was almost at a loss, but he
made a magnificent effort and retort
ed: "Blame if she ain't!" Every
body's. o o
IN LEAP YEAR
"Do you think leap year gives a
woman any special privileges?"
"No," answered Mr. Groucher;
"It's merely a warning to a man to
be on his guard." Suffrage Move
ment. o o
Sunday-School Teacher Can you
tell me who dwelt in the garden of
Little Mary Yes, ma'am the Ash