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RULES ARE RULES
In a hotel the other day the man
'ager was instructing a new arrival
'in his duties.
" "Now -you see that Bign 'Gentle
men must use the spittoons.' If you
"notice any of the guests violating
that rule, report the matter to me."
"Oi will, sor," said Pat, and he
kept a sharp lookout. After watch
ing a gentleman for naif an hour he
went to him and said:
"D'ye moind the sigs over yon
"I'm not expectorating on the car
pet," said the gentleman, astonished.
"Ui know ye re not, saia .rat, "an'
yer not usin' the spettune, nayther.
Spit, ye thafe, or Oi'll report yez."
N. Y. Globe.
Pompous Lady Must I put this
stamp on myself?
Postoffice Clerk Well, you can if
-vnn lilrp hnt it's liKiial to nut It nn
the letter w .
HOW THE MAN GOT IT "
The day was hot and the patient
ice man had taken his usual care
in getting the ice in the box just
right and then mopping up the little
water that got on the floor in the
operation. He really was a good ice
man and deserved to be rewarded.
"Here is a bottle of beer; you need
it on a hot day like this," said the
"I can't accept anything from pa
trons, lady," the iceman said, as he
eyed the bottle lovingly.
"Well, if that is orders, all right,"
the customer said.
Still the iceman pondered. "But,"
he added, as an afterthought, "if you
put it on the back porch ril steal it.
There isn't any rule against steal
On one occasion a woman said to
Whistler, the artist:
"I just came up from the country
this morning along the Thames, and
there was an exquisite haze in the
atmosphere which reminded me so
much of some of your little things.
It was really a perfect series of Whis
tlers." "Yes, madam," responded Whis
tler gravel?. "Nature is creeping up."
"What's the trouble?" inquired
"Man wants a prescription filled,"
said the clerk, "that was originally
put up here in 1875,"
"Well, go ahead and fill it"
"You forget how the drug business
has changed. We haven't enough
drugs in the shop to fill it now."
Detroit Free Press.
SHE SAID LOTS
"What did your wife say to you for
remaining downtown so late last
"Well, if you have an hour to spare
I can give you a synopsis of kl"
Kansas ,dtyJourpal , -
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