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Newspaper Page Text
The military maneuvered. All aft-
ernoon the attackers had attacked
and the defenders defended, with
conspicuous lack of Incident or brav
ery. Operations were beginning to
drag horribly when the white flag
The officers in command of the at
tackers started in amazement.
"A flag of truce!" he exclaimed.
"What do they want?"
The sergeant-major endeavored to
cover up a smile.
"They say, sir," he reported, "that,
as it's tea time, they'd like to ex
change a couple o' privates for a can
of condensed milk if you can afford
, r (J 0
EASING IT TO HIM
"Whom have you there in tow?"
"This is Rip Van Wulkle. He just
"Why guard him so carefully?"
"Well, we're letting him see the
women's styles gradually, don't you
THE ROBBER'S RESPECTS
One morning while Mrs. Cobb was"
at her summer home in the country
she decided to go up to town and
spend the day with a friend. Her
grocer had not called by the time she
was ready to leave, so Bhe wrote on
"All out Don't leave anything,"
and tacked it on the door.
Upon her return at night she found
the house had been ransacked and
nearly everything of any value had
been taken. On the card which she
had left on the door these words had
"Thanks. We havent left much.'
o o :
T. R.'S" PHYSICIAN
Wonder if Roosevelt paid that doc
tor anything for advising him to
keep quiet for six weeks? Once an
old darkey visited a doctor and was
given definite instructions as to what
he should do. Shaking his head, he
started to leave the office, when the
"Here, Rastus, you forgot to pay
"Pay yo' for what, boss?"
"For my advice," replied the doc
tor. "Naw, suh; naw. suh; I ain't gwine
take it," and Rastus snuffled out
WILLI E'E TACT
There was company to dinner and -father
was carving his prettiest on a
fine roast, when suddenly the knife
struck a skewer, made a sliding mo
tion and came out on top. Father
attempted to cover his real feelings
with jests, but there was an em
barrassing silence. Willie took ad-?
vantage of it.
"Cook has burned her nose orful,
he said. f
"Too bad," muttered the fathei;
still wrestling with the roast. "How
did she do it?"
"Trying to pull those skewers ottt i
with her teeth. , sa-g