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Newspaper Page Text
OH, NO WONDER
Men who sit still In street cars
while women stand and give as their
I excuse thje assertion that women do
not tnantc tnem wnen tney ao oner
itheir seats will like this story:
The man arose and gave his seat
to a girl.
. "Oh, think you most kindly, sir,"
"Don't mind her being polite," ex
plained a sad-faced woman. "I'm
taking her to a sanitorium. Kansas
; - o
: A BETTER REASON
The two men came running at top
speed toward the English railway sta-
Ition, where the train was steaming
;ready to start. As they reached the
station door the whistle sounded and
the train was off. Gasping for breath,
the one said to the other with cheery
good humor: "Eh, Jim, tha' -didna
run fast enough."
"Yea, Ah did." Jim instantly re
plied, "but Ad didna start soon
'V6LL- vor 3)reuN.
( OXPECTXCR ENEMY
Ck To,?0 BUILD )
y addition to it?
THE DEPTH OF WOE
Down in Georgia a negro, who had
his life insured for several hundred
dollars, died and left the money to
his widow. She Immediately bought
herself a very elaborate mourning
Showing her purchases to her
friend, she was yery particular in
going into detail as to prices and
all incidental particulars. Her friend
was very much impressed, and re
marked: "Them sho is fine does, but, befor'
Heaven, what is you goin' to go wid
all dis black underwear?"
The bereaved one sighed: "Chile,.
when I mourns, I mourns."
Jenkins had ceased to complain,
but one evening his troubles as a
straphanger in the tram got so bad
that he felt bound to expostulate.
"Excuse me, sir," he Baid to the
man sitting by him, "but would you '
mind moving your portmanteau from
the gangway? I really can hardly
find room to stand."
"Move my portmanteau!" gasped
the stranger. "Those, sir, are my
"Is that so?" said Jenkins. "Then
perhaps you would pile them one
above the other." Tit-Bits.
THE EASIEST WAY
A schoolboy was given a sum to
do. When it was done he took it to
the teacher, who looked at it and
"This answer is wrong by 2 cents,
go back to your seat and do it cor
rectly." "If you please, ma'am," said the
youngster, fishing In his pocket, "I'd
rather pay the difference."
BROTHERHOOD OF MAN
Total Stranger Pardon me, sir, If
I take the liberty of removing that
blonde hair from your shoulder. I
was once caused considerable annoy
ance by Just such a trifle. Lif,