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OUT OF HIS LINE
A few strokes carried him to the
spot, and he reached out a muscular
arm to grip the poor lady, whose
frantic struggles just at this moment
rdislodged her bathing cap, which
soon floated away.
"Oh, save my hair!" she cried,
pointing to the cap. "Save my hair!"
"Madam," replied the gallant res
cuer, "I am only a life-saver, not a
THE SHINING SHORE
Parson Of Course, you want to go
to heaven when you die, my lad? All
good boys go there!
Bo Then it's heaven for mine!
If there's anything I like it's punch
ing a good boy! Puck.
BROTHERS IN MISERY
"I said something to my wife a
week ago and she hasn't spoken to
"Bill, you're a friend of mine try
to remember what you said."
JETHRO WAS READY
The minister came to Jethro's
house one afternoon he was to
christen Jethro's little son, Jeth, Jr.
"Jethro," said the minister, solemn
ly, taking his host aside, before the
ceremony, "Jethro, are you prepared
for this solemn event?"
"Oh, yes, indeed, doctor," Jethro
beamed. "I've got two hams, three
gallons of ice cream, pickles, cake "
"No, no, Jethro," said the minister
with a smile. "No, no, my friend, I
mean spiritually prepared."
"Well, I guess yes! Two demijohns
of whisky and three cases of beer!"
Jethro cried in triumph. Philadel
"Father," inquired the little brain
twister of the family, "when will our
little baby brother be able to talk?"
"Oh, when he's about 3, EtheL
He's only a baby yet, EtheL Babies
"Oh, yes, they can, father," insist
ed Ethel, "for Job could talk when
he was a baby."
"Job! What do you mean?"
"Yes," said Ethel. "Nurse was
telling us today that it says in the
Bible 'Job cursed the day he was
HE TOLD HER
When one of the popular teachers
in the west side schools had to deal
with a boy who played- "hookey,"
she failed to impress him with the
evil of his ways.
"Don't you know what becomes of
little boys what "stay away from
school to play ball?" she asked.
"Yessum," replied the lad prompt
ly. "Some of 'em gets to be good
players and pitch in the big leagues."
"I wonder if the couple on the oth
er side of the aisle from us are hus
band and wife?"
"They can't be. She's got the seal
by the window."
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