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Newspaper Page Text
JflL 3BR0KE OOT. I'LL BBW HIM
iplv T3 APULPJ -
COULDNT FOOL HIM
Coming fresh from the country a
youth had just procured a position
in a city grocery. As he had been
pwarned that the city folks would
"josh him because he was from the
country, he was very cautious. One
afternoon a girl entered the storejthe orator.
"I should like to get some bird
Confident that he had detected a
"josher," the youth answered with a
"No, you can't 'josh' me. Birds
grow from eggs, not seeds." Ladies'
The "fare" was evidently much
disturbed at the noisy rattle of the
"Say," he shouted to the driver,
"does this infernal car always make
a racket like this'"
"No, sir," replied the chauffeur,
"only when it's running."
PROFITING BY A LESSON
Young Tommy returned from
school in tears and nursing a black
"Betcher I'll pay Billy. Bobbs off
for this in the morning," he wailed to
"No, no," she said, "you must re
turn good for eviL 111 make you a
nice Jam tart and you muBt take it to
Billy and say: 'Mother says I must
return good for evil, so here's a tart
for you.' "
Tommy demurred, but finally con
sented. The next evening he return
ed in a worse plight and sobbed:
"I gave Billy the tart and told him
what you said. And then he blacked
my other eye and says to send him
another tart tomorrow." Ladies'
HE DID IT
"If any man here," shouted the
temperance speaker, "can name an
honest business that has been helped
by the saloon I will spend the rest
pf my life working for the liquor peo
ple." A man in the audience arose. "I
consider my business honest," he
said, "and it has been helped by the
"What is your business?" yelled
"I, sir." responded the man, "am
an undertaker." Ladies' Home Jour
naL 0 o
THE USUAL WAY
"Johnny," the teacher asked, "can
you tell me anything about Chris
"He discovered America."
'Tes. What else did he do?"
"I s'pose he went home and lec
tured about it."
AN ABSORBED WOMAN
"A man ought to kiss his wife ev
"Yes," repiled Mr. Meekton, "but
suppose she's busy writing speeches
and don't yf&np tor:be;di5tuibedj