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Newspaper Page Text
"Now-, my child," said the kind old
judge, "which do you prefer to go
"That depends," answered the
fashionable child. "Is mother to get
"Large enough to embarrass fa
ther financially?" Kansas City Jour
nal. o o
AT THE BAZAR
Helper We're going to have a big
crowd here, and it'll be some job to
keep 'em moving.
Manager That'll be easy. Take
down that rear exit sign, post up the
word "Free," and they'll all bolt for
. o o
A child sat in a movie tent
And missed most ev-ry scene,
The man in front was corpulent
And cut off half the screen.
PEACE POSTPONED. M
John T. Repnert says his nine
year-old nephew came home froni
school and said he had been told to
write an essay on "Peace." v
His mother left him at work on tha
essay when she went up stairs.
When she came down again a half
hour later the essay was only begun,
and the boy was nowhere about.
"She found him down at the cor
ner fighting a boy from the next
street," reports Repnert Cleveland.
o o ?' ,
"There was once a President," said
Senator Bourne, "who received, early
in his administration, a letter which
proved to him that there is no such
thing as discouraging an office seek
er. This letter read:
' "Dear Mr. President I understand
you are going to take a month off to
destroy the big mountain of letters
asking you for jobs. If everything
else is gone, I would like the job of
destroying those letters.' " Dallas
FASTING AND PRAYER
Old Mammy Mary Persimmons
called one day on the village lawyer.
"Well, old lady," he said, "what can
I do for you?"
"Ah wants to divo'ce man hus
band," said Aunt Mary.
"Divorce your Uncle Billy?" cried
the lawyer. "Good gracious, why?"
"Bekase he's done got religion,
dat's why," said Aunt Mary, "anwe
ain't had a chicken on de table f o' six
weeks." Ohio Farmer.
" HAD IT BEEN!
Wine Drummer (to widow of dead
customer, a composer) May I ask
how old your husband was when he
Widow Only 40. Who knows
how much more he might have done?
Wine Drummer Ah, yes; and if
we caluculated it at only a hundredh
bottles a yearl
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