Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1924 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
Tommy has teased, begged and im-
Ilplored his father to buy him a Watch.
'lne impatient iatnerb answer was,
"No; once and for all, no! If I hear
you mention the word watch again I
shall punish you severely!"
" That evening the family assembled
t the dinner table, and, as was their
custom before eating, each repeated
'a verse from the Bible.
When Tommy's turn came he said,
"What I say unto one of you, I say
unto all of you watch!"
The watch was forthcoming.
V o o
r POOR GEORGE!
- Mrs. Youngbride George: banks
Bare frauds. Didn't you tell me they
rf would loan money on notes?
fr aev nusDana xes, near.
Mrs. Youngbride Well, they don't.
-Ltook in those beautiful ones that
.you wrote to me before we weremar1
ried, and the cashier read them and
Jaughed but he wouldn't give me a
7:ent for them. Puck.
(ACKER.!! J fA
A little Boston girl, who had fre
quently been admonished by her par
ents as to the evils resulting from
hurried mastication of food, was on
a recent visit to the zoo in the Bronx.
Among the beaBts that particularly
claimed her attention were the cam
els. She watched them long and
earnestly as they munched huge
bunches of grass and then turned to
"Uncle," said she, "what a treat it
would be for father and mother and
Prof. Fletcher to see those camels
chewing all day." Harper's Maga
zine. o o
No Sherlock Holmes nor William
Burns am I,
At mysteries I seldom take a try;
My bump of curiosity's so small
It worries me but seldom, if at all.
Yet there's one problem spoils my
sleep at night,
On which I fain woukl have a little
In what dark, nauseous pit do they
The odors some girls wear and call
"perfume." Peoria Journal
DULL THUDS ,
Some of the fellows who believe
only half of what they hear always
believe the wrong half.
Some girls marry for love. A few
marry for money. And a lot more
marry because it is their last chance.
They are all alike. A little girl with
a ring that has a glass set is perfectly
contented until she meets another lit
tle girl who has a ring with two glass
sets in jt. Cincinnati Enquirer.
"What are you going to be when
you grow up, Johnny?"
"I'm going to be a pirate 'till I gets
old an' sick," answered Johnny.
''Then I'm going to turn to the Lord."