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Newspaper Page Text
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I used to be a jingo, ,
My voice was loud for war;
I yearned to wade
4 All undismayed
Through rivulets of gore.
I longed to swat the foeman
Amid the battle storm,
And full of dare
In fancy uniform.
tjised to be a jingo,
r, i yearnea to tote a Jrupp;
But that, you know,
Was years ago,
Before I had grown up.
IT ALL DEPENDS
Playwright (dictating) Love is
the greatest force in the world.
Blase Typist (taking, it down)
.Love is the greatest farce in the
A WATER CURE
"Doctor," complained Sim Dor-
kins, "I can't see nothin' through
these here specs."
They were all right for the first
day or two, were they not?" asked
the oculist, after a glance at the
"Ya-as," admitted Sim, "but they
kept a-gittin' wuss and wuss, till I
couldn't hardly see at alL"
"They will do as well as ever,"
said the doctor dryly, 'if you will
wash them." Judge.
"Twice did Smith refuse to take
a drink on conscientious grounds."
"Then the third time he should
have felt justified in taking one."
"Because three scruples make one
THREAT OR PROMISE?
Mother Now, Freddie, if you're dis
agreeable to Cousin Ethel she won't
come and play with you again.
Freddie Is that a promise? Life.
B'GOLLY POETS AN'
INFANTS mE SURE
CRUSE NO ONE
WHAT DEY SHY .'