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Newspaper Page Text
AN IMPORTANT POINT
I A city girl was taking a coures in
Agriculture uouege. Alter a iemurc
on "How to increase tne muk mow,
she rose for a question.
"How long," she blushingly in
quired, "must one beat a cow before
she will give whipped reamV"
HIS HEARING GOOD
ATasHstrate I understand that you
overheard the quarrel between the
defendant and his wife?
Witness Yes, sir.
Magistrate Tell me, if you can,
what he seemed to be doing.
Witness He seemed to be doing
the listening, sir. National Monthly.
"There were plenty of other men.
who wanted to marry me?"
"Yes, and not one of the ungrate
ful hounds has been around to even
so piuch as thank me.' N. Y, World.
A FREQUENT CALLER "
A swellish young man was cutting
a dash at a seaside hoteL At the din
ner table a quiet-looking gentleman
sitting opposite him said:
"How do you wo, Mr. Jones?"
"Oh, I am quite well," replied the
young TPft" haughtily, "but I really
do not recognize you."
"Dear me," said, the gentleman,
"and yet I. used to call very fre
quently at your mother's house."
"Yes, I was there every week and
your mother always gave me a cor
dial invitation to call again"
"And who are yon, may I ask?"
"I am a bill coHector." Phila
delphia PubUc Ledger. ,
The smaD boy was dressed in. foot
baH costume, and, with a jaunty air,
he walked into the local newspaper
office and handed the editor a dirty
scrap of paper. On it was a brief ac
count of a JuvenUe footbaU match
which had taken place that after
noon. Glancing at the report the editorial
eye caught the words: "Jones kicked
a magnificent goal, the finest ever
seen on the grounds."
"Who is Jones?" asked, the editor.
The youngster turned the thumb
of his-rlght hand proudly to his
'Tm Jones," he said, calmly. "
It is said that Sam Bernard, the
comedian, was standing in a crowd
ed street car not long ago, hanging
to a. straps For some unknown rea
son thenar suddenly stopped and
Mr. Bernard was precipitated into
the lap of a young and very pretty
The actor arose and bowed pro
foundly. "Madam," he said, "this is the
first time the street car company
ever conferred a favor on me."
Green Bool . .
'"" ' ' - -V i iiiii'iii'BiMiiMi