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Newspaper Page Text
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"5 4-f 3rf.fiTS$: Jt
power overmatches even the com
bined power of the workers. Human
life is being slaughtered, riot only by
avoidable industrial accidents whose
prevention would be unprofitable, but
by sending an increasing number of
humans to suicide's graves as the
alternative to starvation, due to en
forced idleness, which confronts
them if they stay among the living.
And yet we have here the spectacle
of an economic idiot, high in." the
councils of the people, preaching that
unless you protect property as
against every other consideration the
country is going to the demnition
Our "protection" of property as
against the considerations of life and
liberty of the people is the thing that
plagues us now. Henry Kraus, 735
DON'T SAY WE TOLD YOU
Now, here's a doctor that you're going to like Dr. W. Percy Hich
ling, noted alienist of Washington, D. C. Dr. W. Percy announces that
it's easy to tell if a girl loves you. Take her hand, feel her pulse and, if
the pulse beats excitedly, she's yours. Also, ii her pulse remains normal
but goes to hammering upon your mention of your rival's name,- she,'s
his'n, and you might as well go to sparking some other pulse.
This presupposes that the girl will let you hold her hand whether or
not she loves you. There are such. There are girls who will let you hold
both hands. Then, there are also girls who will call in father, big brother,
the gardener and the chauffeur, if you try to hold their hand.
Of course, the advantage in Dr. W. Percy's scheme lies in finding out
how the girl regards you without committing yourself. It is awful to get
down upon the knees of one's best and perhaps only pair of pantaloons
and swear that you love her like a Hbuse afire and will cheerfully die for
her, only to find that she has been sitting up nights with you, attending the
movies with you and eating your ice cream cones merely to pass the time
while her elect, in the shape of a 'red headed store-walker, wasn't on the
job. And a mere gentle feeling of her pulse would be a godsend to swains
too bashful to pop unless brought up to it in a poke and hog-tied. But,
you've simply got to be sure that the lady is one of the placid, unwarlike,
deliriously complacent sort before you risk playing upon her pulse chan
nels like a piano keyboard. As a general rule, it is always wisest to see 'to it
that all the doors leading to the front lawn, or the back fence are open,
before grabbing the" hand of the uncertain damsel. With these little pre
cautions added, Dr. W. Percy's scheme for reading the female heart seems"
to be a right good thing.
; o o
"MASH" SLEUTHS ON THE JOB
-As a .slam against "mashing" on
street cars, six secret service men
whose whole duty -is to protect
the women passengers have been put
to work on the cars.
They are instructed to make ar
rests only in the most severe cases.
L. A. Busby, head of the City Rail
ways Co., blames mashing' for the
new "off-the-Dlatform" rule that has
resulted in freqtfent fights and many
arrests lately. He declared that it
was only to protect the women from
insults of men on the back platforim
thSt the rule was made. '
An American to whom the Scotch'
joke about the Frenchman getting a
bit of their Aisne back was told" re
plied: "I guess it's Somme war, and
anyway; it's - given you Britishers
.something to Meuse 'about" ' 1?
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