OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 12, 1914, LAST EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-12-12/ed-1/seq-17/

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1 ( j" I'A VfcARIN AVWtn ADCLPH, 7
A 8k U VEEV UTTXE ElSE.
L
COURTESY AND SERVICE
Old Lady (irritably) Here, boy,
I've been waiting some time to be
waited on. ,
Druggist Soy. Yes, ma'am. What
can I do for you?
Old Lady. I want a stamp. ,
Druggist Boy. Yes, ma'am. Will
you have it licked or unlicked?
o o
CALCULATIONS
"Let me see," said the young man,
thoughtfully. "I've got Jto buy some
flowers, and some confectionery, and
spme theater tickets, and "
"Doing mental arithmetic?" in
quired the man at the next ilesk.
"No, Sentimental arithmetic."
y NOT QUITE THE SAME
"So he praised my singing, did he "
"Yes, he said it was heavenly."
"Did he really say that?
"Well, not exactly; but he prob
ably meant it. He said it was un
earthly." N. Y. World, '
NOT INCONSOLABLE
There were two Browns in the vil
lage, both fishermen. One lost his
wife, the other his boat, at about the
same time. The rector's wife called,
as she supposed, on the widower, but
really upon the Brown whose boat
had gone down.
"I'm sorry to hear of your great
loss," she said.
"Oh, it ain't much matter," was the
philosophical reply. "She wasn't up
to much."
"Indeed!" said the surprised lady.
"Yes," continued Brown, "she was
a rickety old thing. I offered her to
my mate but he wouldn't have her.
I've had my eye on another for some
time."
And then the lady fled. Top
Notch. o o
RETIRED
Among the Monday morning cul
prits haled before a Baltimore police
magistrate was a, darkey with no vis
ible means of support.
"What occupation have you here
in Baltimore?" asked his honor.
"Well, jedge," said the darkey, "I
ain't doin' much at present jest
circulatm' round, sun."
His honor turned to the clerk of
the court and said;
"Please enter the fact that this
gentleman has been retired from cir
culation for sixty days." Green Bag.
5Josh
JPTSC
SI SAYS
"A tramp arrested fer stealin a
bathtub from th' local plumber shop
wuz dismissed. Th' court ruled that
though he wuz seen takln' it, there
was an absolute lack o' motive."
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